Albert Herdianto Widjojo
What is the meaning of tolerance for you? The dictionary says that tolerance is “the ability or tolerance to something that does not necessarily agree with.” and “an allowable amount of variation of a specified quantity, especially in the dimensions of a machine or part”.
There are some big things there, ability, willingness, agree, and permission. All of that can lead to one thing; limit! Yes, tolerance has its limits, and if the “boundary” is passed then disputes, fight, physical clashes even warfare cannot be avoided.
The word of tolerance also groups us in groups, whether consciously or unconsciously, which also presupposes superior and inferior relationship. In many ways, superior and inferior are subjective and relative, but not so in the mind of a person or group whose the ego has been inflated by superiority. A superior person or group is tolerant of people or groups who are considered inferior within the permitted limits and they should know where they are, what they can and should not do according to their size. Be kind, and be careful because you are under our supervision and control, and you should be grateful for our permission and kindness.
See clearly how much chaos is plaguing our lives due to differences. We can see how weak spiritual values are taught through education, society, and family. How the splendor of the symbols of leadership (nation and world) and religion is not enough to reflect the splendor of the souls of those who serve or worship in those places.
In a region or country laden with the difference (in fact it is everywhere, all over the world), the idea that “we are different” and “I am great” that living in the word tolerance is very easy to trigger disputes. The use of the term in relationships between peoples, societal societies, and inter-religious relations only proves how “insignificant and meaningless” our consciousness, how “narrow” our insight is, and how “petty” our minds are.
It would be nice if we transform the paradigm of tolerance with appreciation, mutual respect, and honor, and see the difference like a rainbow in the eyes of children. Appreciation will unite us. Tolerance will continue to divide us. If we think that we will not be able to influence others to be humble, to choose appreciation rather than tolerance, at least we can choose to make ourselves behave that way. If you are sure, believe in, you will realize that appreciation will give you a lot of peace and happiness.
In the meantime, just allow the word of tolerance to be used indefinitely in the term of zero tolerance, as a policy which imposes the appropriate punishment for offenders a “just, fair and humanitarian law and regulation”, with the aim of removing indiscriminate offenders such as crime against humanity, corruption, and antisocial behaviour.
If you curious and eager to participate in this challenge, here are the rules and guidelines to join.
you would think that’s pretty easy to do BUT some just don’t want to be decent or friendly.
So it takes MORE effort to have the tolerance you need to over look them kind of people.
I agree, my friend. To have an “appreciative paradigm” in a tolerance behavior is not that easy indeed, but if the dominance of the mind of a person/group is to see the beauty and not a limiting difference, we’ll not too easy to judge others or at least we will have a big heart as a fellow human being. In addition, the character or personality (extrovert/introvert, friendly/reserved) which is an internal factor does not directly relate to values that are appreciative or tolerant because that is more form of something taught/shaped by others (external factors).
it’s all in the way you like to be treated that you treat other people
is the way I see it if you treat others wrong you will get the same.
The golden rules, right?
that’s the ONLY rule in my book.
Waaahh… You must be a wise person with full of compassion!
well I do try to do what god put me on this earth to do & that’s to never
turn anyone away that he sends to me that ask for my help IF I can.
Wow! You are a human with a mission!
So far, from all experiences, whatever I do to help others, what changed is me.
that’s the whole idea is to change the person
you were to the person you ARE in Gods eyes.
Yes I am always on the mission to help those
that comes into my life time till he tells me it’s
time to walk away which he has done at times.
That’s great. Glad to be friends with you.
HIGH 5 to you, as I am glad to be your friend.
Tolerance does imply permission. For example, I have a Facebook timeline. I can determine which posts I will read and allow to be on my timeline. I will allow people to express any opinion about issues being discussed, even though I may disagree with those opinions. But I won’t tolerate attacks on people’s character because of opinions they voice. Someone may say a leader I support is bad for the country or that a candidate I don’t support should win an election. I will let those opinions stay, whether I agree or not. But the minute someone tells someone else who is a guest on my timeline that she is an idiot, that comment will be deleted. I don’t tolerate personal attacks or insults to remain on my timeline.
You are right, Permission (as I mentioned above ) is indeed one of the poles of tolerance. Our civilization is still dominated by such paradigm, so rules, condition, and boundaries are set (even with barb wire and weapons) with each different consequences on it. Imagine if the dominance of human ideas is dominated by love, compassion, and appreciation, I am sure we will respect the differences even with minimum rules or perhaps with no rules.
The problem is that mankind is born selfish. Until a man is born again, we cannot expect love to dominate people’s motivations. Even after regeneration we have to fight the natural desires of our flesh (selfishness in all its forms), relying on God’s spirit to help us do the right thing and forgive when we don’t. It’s the direction of the heart and spirit that set the agenda for what we do. For me this means I see every person as a unique creation of God to be treated with respect for the image of God within him. This does not mean I have to agree with him, but it does mean that I may not say things deliberately meant to hurt him.
You are right, Barbara. One of the purposes of this paper is to be a drop of contemplation for we always centered on the direction of heart and spirit. Become a subject with the anchor of heart consciousness as you describe to embody compassion, as the same person while worshiping and living life as it is.
To me, tolerance is the perfect grain of sand. We spend a lifetime seeking it on the beach and never find it. Then one day, we look inside ourselves and realize tolerance starts with us!
In fact, any term we use to embody compassion in others, respect for difference, and appreciate the beauty of others is not a problem, the most important is the essence seeps out and manifests as action. What’s amazing, I see it from you.
Great post, very informative! Nice photo too
Thanks, my friend. Hope it’s not boring you, Courtney
You’ve opened an interesting discussion with some good points. The comments will be worth perusing. Pondering the issues surrounding the concept of tolerance is an excellent exercise for individuals and societies.
Tolerance has an implication that everyone and everything should be the same, which at best would be boring and also brings up the question of who decides what that “same” would be. Tolerance also implies that everyone is safe to be around, a concept that has many far-reaching dangers.
Respect, appreciation, and patience are certainly character qualities we should all strive to maintain. Many say they want such qualities for themselves and others but that there should be no moral code to follow, which is extremely curious, reflecting a shallowness of thinking.
Your view is very impressive, Roberta. Looking at the reality that causes so much pain and sadness all around us and everywhere, it is important for us to always find the reasons behind it all. Unfortunately, we often ignore and let the latent danger and the fragility of the ego; both our own ego, group ego and others. We demand that others understand us but we are less willing to understand others. We want to be heard but hard to listen to. And as you have said, we are also more dominated by ambiguity and uncertain of what we really want or what our true purpose is.
Yes, we do, indeed, have a tendency to consistently get in our own way. It is a wonderful thing to know why we were created, what our purpose is, and how much our Creator loves us, how much He wants to help us in this life, and how He has provided for those who trust Him in eternity!
You are right, it would be wonderful if people are more oriented to understand the reasons for their existence than to hate the difference while rising their fist up and scream on behalf of God.
The image is perfect for representing tolerance. I have a lot that I cannot tolerate. Fake people, liars, cheaters, the obvious. But being honest is a high tolerance in my life. It is necessary for any relationship. My tolerance was tested recently and I am so glad I said nothing, I just walked away.
I really appreciate your views and your patience, Carol. Your honesty is the majesty of trust that prioritizes your happiness and peace free from the ego’s incitement to hold the clouds in mind.
I have learned many life lessons the hard way, but that is usually the best way, you never forget what if feels like.
I agree. Experience is the best teacher and lesson.
I enjoyed reading this, Albert. I’m a pretty tolerant person. I just wish everyone was tolerant of each other. The world would be an easier place to live in if it were.
That’s great, my friend. I am very happy to read the beauty of your point of view in respect for others. I also have the same hope as you.
This may not be the most appropriate but I think religion separates, and it is sad. I totally agree on your point of tolerance – there will be a limit and then the sudden explosion might be scary. (or maybe I exaggerated/overthink the consequence)
Appreciation indeed feels like a better “solution” whereby you try to see the beauty in your differences – only if religions can learn to appreciate these differences instead of trying to “manipulate” or convert.
Of course, I like the good side of religion, they make us think twice and sometimes give us security and hope that some higher being are watching over and guiding us. Only if they could do away with some superiority.
I must say that it is a sad fact about religion. Religions that are passed on from generation to generation and continue to split into several sects and continue to compete for each other, even war, not only between different faiths acting in the name of religion but also between the same believers or faiths.
On the other hand, the good side of religion, which is really beautiful as you have said, is often used to see the “faults” of other religions. Very unfortunate is not it?
What you call the “solution” really only asks us to change the way we see, from seeing the differences and the shortcomings to see the beauty and the good among us all. But maybe that’s too difficult uh?
Yeah, pretty sad how religion turns out to be sometimes more harmful than helpful and even at times, becomes a “very good excuse”.
If something is rooted (especially from young) then it’ll never be easy to change…
I admire that important insight and awareness, my friend. At least it makes us have a strong sense of mutual respect. It’s also important to remember that tolerance is so fragile, my country, and some of our neighbor countries have proven the crisis caused by the fragility over and over again.
haha, i guess your neighbour country includes the one i live in…
But just glad nothing too disastrous came out of the disputes 🙂
I appreciate it for your country, but it happens in our neighboring country…
Tolerance means tolerance to another way of life, behavior, customs, feelings, opinions, ideas, beliefs. Thus, tolerance is related to the freedom of idiots in the broad sense of this word. Not in the sense that has established itself in the political sphere, which is closer to the notions of compassion and indulgence.
Tolerance expresses the ability to establish and maintain communication with people who are somehow different from us. Of course, it should be borne in mind that there are limits of tolerance, ie. the presence of some moral boundaries, allowing not to mix the tolerant relationship with allowing everything and indifference to belief-based values. Otherwise, we will have to agree with GK Chesterton’s definition: “Tolerance is the virtue of people who do not believe in anything”
Thanks for your comment, my dear friend. Look, your quote re-affirms the limits, the boundaries, is not it my friend? Such is the tolerance, constantly bringing up differences (we know very well that everyone, groups, tribes, nations, and religions are different) in our mind, and let our fate (happiness and peace) be in the hands of the ability or willingness of us or them, right?
It also directs our focus on differences by prioritizing the shortcomings of others, and that we are better, we are more powerful and I will not disturb you to that extent or I/we’ll… We can see how the results so far with the paradigm of tolerance across the face of the earth. So, again, the difference can only be addressed with both appreciation, mutual respect, and honor to each other.
I wish all of the worlds, live in peach can barbed wire borders, expect.
Thanks, Pradhan. I also have the same hopes, as well as John Lennon dreams through his song “Imagine”. But at least we can start from ourselves rather than wait without doing anything.
My tolerance level has been declining recently, but I know I must get it back. So many things hav been coming against me. I must get myself back to the level of compassion. I care a lot about people in general, but when pain keeps stabbing you, then the body weakens. I will be at my best again soon .
I really understand what you mean; when stabbing keeps coming and weakening endurance, chances are we will scream, wriggle, get angry and will most likely fight back. And one thing we must build is as you say; compassion because it is a dual force of passive (non-action) endurance, and active work force.
Now I found out my sister was in a car wreck. She was in a 5 car pile up. but so far she may have whip-lash. Her grand daughter may have one too. The accident had to due with a pregnant women passing out and running into her. They are alright
Geez… so many lessons that need to be taken in a short time by your family, LaJenna. Fortunately, they are alright!
we as humans have only so much we can take before our tolerance level is met in life
& like you said it leads to all kinds of things, I really wish some folks I have encountered
over the yrs knew just how to control themselves more when it comes to tolerance levels.
It’s one thing to have a conversation & it get out of hand but SOMETIMES it’s another
when you don’t know how to take things into respective manners when it comes to others,
Tolerance is one word that concerns the broad aspect of our lives. As long as the “tolerance system” operates on a person, the sense of limitation and separateness, both of us and those who feel superior or inferior, can easily trigger disputes and suffering, in which both sides actually feel hurt.
It is very difficult for us to expect others to do that for us but it may be easier for us to be more appreciative of others, showing compassion and caring, Build a climate of peace around us.
Well, this is not an easy thing indeed, but I think that’s the meaning of lifelong learning, and in this context at least also learn to push the limits as far as possible and always try to get out of our current comfort zone, again and again.
I guess you are right some don’t think the same way.
I totally agree with you, my friend.
you get 3 people in a room talking about the same thing &
listen to how each person thinks about it.
That’s beautiful, is not it?
really now? well be my guest to explain it so I know ha ha ha
I assume that all three have different opinions, and the difference in viewpoint is beautiful and complementary, is not it? Well, as long as they do not fight because they feel the most right.
fighting over something or ANYTHING don’t solve anything
but get’s someone hurt & that’s not right either, is it not?
but calmly deliberating the manner is a different ball game.
That is a great quality of consciousness that we must develop and apply to all interactions