Love ItLove It

I love posting on Virily. Plus, there is a great community here on the site!

In listening to the recording of the two political addresses made last night/ I won’t share my opinion of the veracity of either side. Let me just say that the Department of Homeland Security publishes the data both sides used. The site is here I highly recommend that you not turn on CNN, Fox News or any other news organization, nor listen to either side speaking last night until you go and look at the facts first. My father always taught me to understand both sides. It makes conversation much easier if you know where both are.

An interesting personal fact from last night, both sides were incredibly negative. I cannot tell you how much that makes me stop listening. If you only have something negative to say, then consider why you are speaking. There are always positive things to be found even if you have to look for them. If you can’t be bothered to find something positive to say alongside the negative things, then I can’t be bothered to listen. It seems such a simple rule but so many people trip over that particular problem.

Following up on my negativity post, I did want to point out that there are times when you have to present negative information. I can tell you, as a former educator that how you present negative information is more important than how you present positive information. There is never a situation that isn’t legal, that has only negative information. In legal situations, it can be the case that there is no positive to be shared. But when it comes to the world around us, there is always something nice to be said. There is another side of course, as a long time software professional I will tell you this. It is something that can be argued. It is something that I have seen, done and have documented for more than 30 years. If you only present negative information to me related to my software product, I ignore what you are saying. You can scream from the mountaintop, but I don’t care. You see, you didn’t remember that even IT developers are humans. Everyone is a person and if you present only negative information about me or to me, and we are not in a court of law, shame on you.

I will pledge to the Virily community. If you go back and look at your posts, and your discussions of Virily are they negative only? If you have made the point to bring up things you like (for example I love polls, gallery mode and I love quizzes well other than Norman’s Quizzes because I just can’t ever seem to get all of his rights)! Load times and site stability have improved throughout the last eight months. We had Cloudflare issues that were a huge problem for many non-European users. Those issues are gone now, and the site is more stable. I wish the admins communicated more, but I do, based on all the negative posts by many writer sons the site understand why they don’t.

My grandfather used to say “if you leave your house every day at 9 am, and your neighbors yell at you, every day what do you do?” The easy thing is to leave at 8:55 and hope your neighbor isn’t watching. The hard thing is to walk over and say why you are mad? Let’s open the positive side of the site communication so that the Verily team feels safe asking us why we are concerned.

  • Will you share one thing you like about Virily in the comments?

    • Yes
    • No
  • Mental Health professionals talk about negative only relationships as Toxic.

    • Yes
    • No
  • Do you read posts and then comment, or just comment to get the Viril?

    • Yes
    • No
  • Do you use punctuation, because you don’t have something to say like Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to get to 20 characters to get your viril for a comment?

    • Yes
    • No
  • Have you ever copied and pasted a comment on more than one post here on Virily?

    • Yes
    • No
  • Do you understand why I am asking all these bad behavior questions?

    • Yes
    • No
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What do you think?

12 points

Written by DocAndersen

I am a long time blogger and technology poster.I focus on what is possible, but I also try to see what is coming. In recent years I have been focused on sharing the memories of my family, as part of my Family History Project.


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  1. I agree about your principle of keeping objectivity in any situation – – – finding the good in every bad without overlooking the bad. I am, in few occasions, guilty of this flaw you are talking about especially when I am in the middle of things and too blind to see that my complaining will not solve anything. As always, I admire your sense of loyalty – the same trait you demonstrated in Niume. Goodluck Doc 😘

  2. Very interesting post! At least online, I try to focus only on the positive topics. I like the idea behind Virily, but I also understand why some people are feeling discouraged because of the problems it has. However, we can always choose not to lose our time with things that make us unhappy.

  3. You can either look at it as the squeaky wheel get’s greased, or if your mamma ever taught you that if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything.
    I try a happy medium. 😉 I do squeak sometimes though. I do know the admins know what’s going on, the dashboard is a glitch they know about. They should put that banner thingy up again with a short note though. I do understand the frustration, I have been there more times than I can count. The admins are human, they work for Virily, they are not Virily. I see both sides.

    • Actually, I am more in the middle as well. I worry tath the admins don’t talk to us at all now, whereas before they would, on occasion. One of the reasons you stay in your foxhole is that when you peek out, someone shoots at you!

      It is the wise person that always considers both sides of the problem.

  4. I like people from the virily community. Some of them are known, albeit in part, by other sats. There has been almost negativism all over the world. And that’s why I like it here, people share only beautiful posts.

    • Well, Alex, you are a writer I respect a lot, so I respectfully disagree. The yelling at the admin team started more than a year ago. Several writers exploded their daily viril production by posting highly negative posts.

      Has it done anything? Nope. In fact, it has driven the admins even further away from us. In fact, they don’t communicate now, because there is nothing but negative.

      No one likes only bad news. Everyone likes the occasional pat on the back. While I wish the team from Virily would communicate more, I completely understand why they are dug in and not talking.

      Sorry, but I disagree. We need to communicate openly and fairly. We need to tell the Virily team what is working as well as what isn’t working.

        • If we apply your analogy to Virily, then I agree. But I don’t think the house is on fire. They are trying to fix two problems, I suspect the first problem (getting credit for all guest views shared) is causing the second problem right now.

          I don’t think people understand the complexity of getting and giving credit for guest views. I share a post via twitter, and forever after that whoever reads that tweet and clicks the link, should generate a Viril for me. That requires a data structure of the outbound tweet and all associated user responses to that.

          Not a house on fire, someone just burned the eggs for breakfast.

          • The base issue (broken dashboard) isn’t what I meant by the house on fire, it is the user outrage about it being broken for so long and the lack of communication. But hopefully my metaphor was overly dramatic

        • On the good side, Virily has already paid longer than Niume did.
          On the good side, the site is operating much better now than it was.
          Back in the day when I worked for a company my boss used to say “One aw crap wipes out a bunch of attaboys.” He didn’t say crap by the by. But, he would always point out, you still have to count the Attaboys!

          • Are they improving? Absolutely. Are they still better than the alternatives? Probably. Is it fair to backseat drive them? Probably not…

            And I do sympathize with the admins because there are some whiny users around here, but this the dashboard failure is a very serious issue and it needs to be addressed, users are losing confidence in the site. Without user created content, there will not be a site, no matter how fast it runs

        • First I agree that the dashboard issue is serious. I suspect, the admins have gone dark because of the users you called “whiny.” If I was on the admin team I would actually block a large number of users on Facebook.

          I don’t honestly at this point care what a lot of people say is bad about the site now. They jump to conclusions they don’t verify and they all they do is complain. When I was a school teacher we used to call those Lounge Tyrants. Those were the teachers that you didn’t want to ask about a student (he is, she is the worst… was the only answer they had).

          Personally if I complained as much as some of them do, I would be gone already.

        • A few whines. Ok, so from the perspective of the admins, in the Virily Users group take out my posts and count the negative posts. Read the depth of the me to comments.

          Come back to Virily. Look at all the negative posts about the site. Now, go back tow hen they admins (who used to communicate on the Virily Users group facebook page) until the last blast o negative started 8 months ago.

          It is not a few whines. It has been an outright nasty fest for almost a year now. If I were the admins, I would freaking cut access to all the negative only posters and send them packing. Good thing I am not an admin.

          • Consider that much of this outrage might be due to the fact that things go wrong and nothing is ever said about it. Damage control is a cost of doing business, but the admins never try to set our expectations or even explain the nature of the issue

            Do they owe us an explanation? Not at all, but their failure to control the narrative has resulted in this mess. There are ways to handle problems, and silence isn’t recommended…

        • I agree in this scenario that we have reached the point of diminishing returns as far as communication.

          I am simply reminding everyone of the clinical definition of insanity, doing the same things over and over (but expecting a different result each time).

          There is not a single person that whines on this site, that hasn’t gotten paid by the site. In fact, they tend to be the first ones with the Look at me I got paid posts every time.

          If you want new results, you have to do new things.

          • Generally I take the three little birds approach to problems, but we’re rapidly approaching the two month mark and I still have no idea why the dashboard is broken or how long it will stay that way

            That having been said, what can I do about it? Back to three birds…

        • My grandfather used to tell me the story of the three birds.

          There are three birds on your shoulder.

          The first one says “blame, blame, blame”
          The second one says “is there another way”
          The third one says “the more you listen the more things aren’t as bad as they seem.”

          now, you have to make two birds fly away.

          The problem is, for some people the rational birds never return.

  5. I always remain positive online and offer my actual opinions in the comments. I have discovered that the only posts to which you can add one-word comments are poems. This is because you are expressing what the poem felt like to you so you can write beautiful, awesome and so on. However, if you would respond this way to an article it would leave the writer frustrated and wonderful what you were referring to. Now if I have ever been faced with an article that after I read it I could not think of what to comment I still write enough to let that person know that I came away with a feeling of dissatisfaction perhaps saying I read this but I am not sure what to say or I didn’t understand what you meant. I think positivity and politeness should go hand in hand when we are replying.

  6. I’ve said quite many times how I think Virily is doing well and I like the people here but then I don’t ignore the problems, though I don’t keep talking about it unless someone brought it up.

    I think it’s also one-sided if we just say the good things and avoid discussing any problems. With the admins hardly ever answering questions, some would think maybe only when enough people are concern about the issue then they’ll try to do anything.

    But, of course, everyone thinks differently. Some people dislike people who voice out, thinking they’re troublemakers, others can see them as trying to help improve the system. Either way its not wrong, just how you what to view the issue.

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