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Lighting a Candle

A special friend of mine lost her sister to suicide two years ago today. My heart breaks for her. No matter how much time passes, it still feels like it just happened.

A reminder to everyone to make sure you tell those you love what they mean to you. Life can change so fast, with no warning sometimes. Never ever say suicide will not happen to you or a loved one. It can happen to anyone, with no warnings.

Have you heard the news stories when someone completes suicide, friends and family usually say there were no warring signs and they were very happy. No, they were not happy. You just never know what is going on inside others minds. Be there for your loved ones. Tell them they are loved. Tell them they are wanted and their life has meaning. That is about the best you can do.

Photo ©CarolDM

  • Have you lost someone to suicide?

    • Yes
    • No
  • If yes, feel free to share in comments, agree?

    • Yes
    • No

What do you think?

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Written by Carol DM

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37 Comments

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  1. This is a special message, Carol. and I totally agree. We never know what other people’s thoughts behind their cheerful smile, sometimes we can not even understand our own thoughts or sometimes can be dragged into certain thoughts.

    I have never experienced someone’s loss because of suicide but ever prevented a nephew who intended to do so.

    • Thank you Albert. You got my message, we never know what others are going through. So you helped your nephew, good for you. That is something to be so proud of. I only needed a few minutes and a maybe would have had a chance to save Dustin. Or that is what I tell myself. As soon as I walked in the door, it happened. Five minutes is all I needed to have a chance to save him.

      • I can understand your feelings and regrets, Carol. According to that experience, we really shouldn’t be late, but it also takes a long time to keep watching them after the first try because they will continue to try to do it until they can really realize that they don’t need to do it at all.

  2. It sad how these things can happen …
    Hope they’ll never happen again to anyone …

    I’m lucky that no-one I know was lost to suicide …
    but I’ve known people who are depressed and had hurt themselves … glad they’re better now …

  3. I lost a good friend of mine right after high school. He was a good athlete, but no colleges recruited him, We all thought something was wrong, but well some of us talked to his parents, they agreed. They tried to help, we tried to help, but in the end, his feeling of failure was greater than his ability to move on. He killed himself as the semester started for our first year of college. I know I did what I knew to do then. But i often question if I could have done more.

    I visited his grave and when i go back home visit his grave still. Just to remember.

  4. I’m sorry, my dear friend … suicides are for me weak people who can not cope with the difficulties of today’s life … it’s probably no one with flowerbeds and we all have to deal with certain problems
     

  5. A nice gesture from you Carol. We would not always know what is running in the minds of a person contemplating suicide. There is always light and hope, no matter what the situation is. We should reach out to your near and dear ones for support when we see a dip in hope.

  6. Yes, I lost a friend some years back who took her own life. No, no sign of suicidal feelings. My cousin who lived far away took her own life and another cousin attempted suicide twice.

    New Zealand has a very high rate of suicides and many are men. My friends were women.

    Often people feel all alone in their own sadness and can’t feel that they can share their true feelings with others.
    A lot of times, physical exercise like swimming does help to combat depression.

    I don’t know the answer, I have often thought about suicide myself but never did it, that when I was really serious, I experienced an encounter with the God of Love
    The God of Love is never frightening never one that condemns.He really does comfort and never looked back since.

  7. I know several people that have lost some to suicide. They are doing better now, due to finding peace. One is a women, and she walks, plants a garden, and just stays busy. She told me she thought God abandoned her, but now as she looks back she can see how God had his hand it all along. She feels peaceful now! I am sorry for your loss, but he is proud of you, and is glad you are helping others dear friend. Hugs!

      • As for the religious aspect, which is NOT the reason I light candles… Quoting got questions.org: The Roman Catholic Church teaches that lighting candles for the dead in correlation with prayer prolongs and amplifies the prayer and memorializes the deceased. The teaching behind candles associated with praying for the dead is the Catholic doctrine of purgatory. The idea is that, after death, some people exist in a state of misery between heaven and hell; Catholics believe that the prayers of people on earth can improve the lot of those in purgatory and speed up their journey toward heaven. However, the doctrine of purgatory is not found in the Bible; rather, it is based on Roman Catholic tradition.

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