Why so hard to find words sometimes to comfort others?

Today, a friend asked what will happen when he passes away (her husband is very ill). I said I don’t know. All I know is that there will be memories, the realization that you have been rewarded with something very beautiful – life with the most wonderful person in the world for so many years. That the sown grass and flowering flowers in their garden that he cared about will remain to remind him. 

And that she will have to learn one of life’s hardest lessons – run it all… Because those who leave us want we would remember them, but will not be tied to them forever. We have to mourn and then thank them for the moments they gave us. We have to mourn and then thank them for the moments they gave us. And then – release it all, let it go.

We must be attached to the living ones, leaving the dead ones to the dead. And the dead ones also remember us and thank us – that we were together, that they were still alive in our memory, that we released them, and that our lives were moving forward.

At least I believe it. Yesterday evening I stood on the terrace admiring the fog and yellowing grass from the sunset when suddenly a feather comes down from nowhere. Flew slowly, as if pondering where to lie down. Then it changes direction and flies towards the lantern, sinks into it, and hangs on the spider’s web for a while, dreamingly swinging.

I stand amazed and catch myself thinking that the theory about feather and passed away people is probably quite real. Because at that moment, I was just thinking of my angel guardian – sister… I believe, she visited me. 

Let us light the candles in our hearts for those who are gone, but to whom we are grateful for the time we were together, albeit briefly. Let’s not be sad, just sink into noble melancholy and concentration, talk to them, tell them how we are doing. And release them because they’re feathers.

And love always lives in us and in our hearts, even if the beloved object no longer exists in the physical body. And that love – it warms, illuminates the way, when it gets too dark, gives power. 

In the life’s finale, we will all be those feathers one day. And maybe we’ll meet.

© Fortune, 2009