PaulPallazola
U.S. Coast Guard Station, East Gloucester, Massachusetts July 31,1996
A couple weeks after my dad’s funeral my mom received a shoebox sized package with his ashes. My dad had served in the Merchant Marine during the second world war & was entitled to a burial at sea. My mom contacted the U.S. Coast Guard & scheduled a day for them to take us to scatter dad’s ashes off the Gloucester coast. It was a partly cloudy afternoon when mom & I met up with Father Jim, Uncle Serafino, & my sister in law Jackie.
The boat took us out to the waters off Braycee’s Cove. Father Jim said a few prayers and we began to scatter dad’s ashes into the water. This is one of those things that always looks better in movies. The… ashes flew back in our faces…my Uncle Serafino looked perplexed & said “I’m not sure we’re doing this right” I said, “Uncle Sophie, I don’t think there is “right way” to do this!” We slowly emptied the rest of the box gently over the side of the boat. We returned to the Coast Guard Station & were given a flag & a map with the precise location were we had scattered the ashes.
We thanked Father Jim & the Coast Guard folks & I drove mom home. I changed out of the black dress pants I had worn and put them in the box with the few remaining ashes. I buried them in our backyard near a statue of St.Anthony in the rear corner garden. I said a prayer. I didn’t say goodbye…when the ashes flew in my face earlier I had swallowed some of them so I figured Dad was now literally always with me.
Very sad story. I’m sorry about your father.
Thank you milenazoran.
Sorry for your loss but you never lost your Dad if he’s still in your heart. He’s just gone to another room. Great memories and your father was fortunate to have been loved. I also lost my Dad and miss him.
Thank you Pamela. One day I’m sure we’ll meet our fathers in that other room
What a special memory for you. Thank you for sharing. I definitely believe part of them always stay with us.
Thank you Carol. I believe that also
I’ve read that many of the cultures which practice cannibalism don’t do it as a source of nourishment, but for religious reasons- that the dead might physically be joined with the living…
I had seen something like that in the film The Emerald Forest where indigenous people in the Brazilian rainforest drink a gourd with ashes that have mixed with all their ancestors. I didn’t think so much about it at the time I just swallowed what blew back at me cause I didn’t want my dad’s ashes being stepped left on the deck of a Coast Guard Cutter to be swabbed down or stepped on. better they stay with family I felt.
Agreed. And who knows? Something like that may have been the birth of cannibalism in one or more cultures…
I’m sure some anthropologist is trying to figure that out right now…
Gotta love cultural anthropology. Now if I could only find my copy of the Golden Bough…
Logical natural events, but I never imagined before you wrote this experience. For you, it’s even become a special and unforgettable experience, is not it?
And as you say, your father really wants to stay and unite within you, then he has asked the wind to blow his ashes into your face.
Yes, I think your right Albert 🙂
Sorry for your loss! That’s a very good article you can read over and over again when you feel like thinking about the memory of your dad.
Thank you Elenka. It was over 20 years ago and I’ve been blessed to have great friends and family to help me through.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Such things are never easy but scattering ashes I think is a wonderful thing to do in remembrance. Your dad is ever with you still and definitely watching over you.
Thank you RasmaSandra. I’m sure you’re right.