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Someone Has It Worse ~ Sharing is Caring

I have always heard the statement, no matter what you are going through, someone has it worse. This is a very true statement. However when you are going through a tragedy, or in a stressful situation, this is the last thing you want to hear. It minimizes and makes your pain seem insignificant. This is only my opinion but words do matter when someone is in pain. We never truly know what a person is going through. Please think before speaking. Less is always better.

Ellie challenge Sharing is Caring is a great one to participate in. I am finding many ideas to share. You should join the challenge.

Photo courtesy of Pixabay.

  • Do you believe the saying, someone has it worse?

    • Yes
    • No
  • Should it be told to someone going through a tragedy?

    • Yes
    • No

What do you think?

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Written by Carol DM

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43 Comments

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  1. I think it’s totally annoying and devastating to hear that when you’re at your lowest …

    It also shows how unsympathetic the person is – acknowledge that a person is sad, hurt and maybe broken …

    Suffering can’t be compared… and may not be understood by people who are suffering or depressed – most people who harm themselves aren’t those of the poorest but those of the middle or even upper class.

    Sometimes, it’s the inside, not the outside. Suffering don’t walk out and should itself on the outside – it’s just inside, tormenting you.

    • You are right, but there are many, most well intentions, that will say this as a habit, like it’s the right thing to do, I have said it before many times. But until you have experienced loss, you will not truly understand how deeply words can hurt. Thank you for your encouraging words.

  2. Carol, we both know what a great loss losing a child is. Had I known you when you suffered your loss, I never would have told you that other people have it worse. When one is grieving, it’s hard to see beyond that and think that anything could be worse.

    As enough time passed, I was able to see a bit beyond the grief experience and be thankful that it had, in fact, not been worse. I recently read a parent’s story of her recovery after her daughter had been brutally murdered. I really can’t think of much that’s worse for a parent than that. At least I knew Jason was doing something he loved when he died. He was not suffering at the hands of a cruel person.

    I can’t think of anything worse for a parent to get over than having a child die at the hands of a monster who is deliberately inflicting pain. I think of those parents who have to watch their children die at the hands of ISIS before they are killed themselves.

    I’m so thankful that if Jason had to die, it was the way he did, almost painlessly. I suffered, but he didn’t. I don’t think, though, that if on the day Jason died someone would have told me what I have since thought about and shared with you here, that it would have comforted me at all. I just would have felt that person had no idea how bad it is to lose a child in any way. Yes, other parents have had it worse. Much worse!. But the timing for telling me so would have been all wrong then. A parent who has lost a child needs hugs and words of love and support, if any words are spoken at all. I so feel for those parents who don’t have that support and have to suffer alone.

    • I watched Dustin take his life, I believe that is the worst. But we all have our losses and they should not be compared. I understand that now. I wish you would have been around, we could have helped each other. But you are helping me now. And I thank you for your continued support and encouragement. I was alone for most of my grief. It has made me a stronger person.

      • I believe that is probably the worst. I didn’t watch my daughter take hers, but I struggled for some time wondering if I was part of the reason, if she was really the one who called, pretending to be her friend, a few weeks before that and feeling out whether she would be welcome to come home. I thought it really was some friend of hers. Had I suspected it might be Sarah, who had left home 14 years before and never contacted me, I would have handled that conversation differently. If, if, if, if. We will never really understand why. Yet maybe it was a friend who called. I didn’t know Sarah had come to Southern California from Texas until after I had been notified of her death. By then she had gone back.

  3. I totally agree with you on this subject….I’ve always told someone; yeah maybe someone has it worse…or is going through worse, but if I am going through something bad at that time for me it IS the worse….

    Thank you for sharing, and I’ll look into her challenge!

  4. Thank you very much for sharing another interesting and thought-provoking post, Carol! I agree with you that it’s rude to say that to someone who is going through a tragedy or a stressful situation. It is similar with happiness: just because someone may have it better it doesn’t mean that our happiness is less significant.
    However, in everyday life, I think that it’s important for us to be grateful for what we have because there are indeed people who are going through awful things.

  5. Everyone has their own uniqueness, with their own strengths and weaknesses, and of course with the journey of their own life. We do have the same aspects of life, but with all that uniqueness, the way we respond to each issue must be different.

    There are similar principles working on the same issue, as there is the same essence of everything but there must be empathetic wisdom that is able to give spirit, support, and solutions that are characteristically heart-to-heart.

    Such stereotyped statements may apply when submitted in large forums but less worthy of personal submission. We must also realize that knowing something (common knowledge) is not the same as believing, and also doesn’t mean being able to do. So, again, it takes the ability to appreciate, understand and pass on “sincere” advice or support to others.

    • Absolutely true, Carol. I agree with everything you’ve said. It is maybe worth saying, however, that when someone says those stupid words, it is likely that they are trying to be helpful. Of course that isn’t always the case, but I know it is sometimes.

      • Most people really do mean well, but it is usually the ones who have never been through any tragedy that says the wrong thing. Less is more, hugs, listen, listen, and listen more non-judgmentally and letting the person know they are there for you is the best thing anyone can do. The most import being listening.

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