My terrible addiction

Once upon a time, when I was still doing normal work, I could not understand what my old friend A. was doing every day. He is a singer, and after all, in most cases, he has concerts only once or two a month,  he does not need to rehearse songs, so what, after all, he is doing day after day. I no longer remember what he answered me when I asked, but it didn’t seem convincing at all.

Now, I have no work from morning to evening, I can work or not work if I don’t want, I can finish one project and refuse to take another for as long as I wish. Funny enough, I also got such a question: what I am doing at days when I am not working. When I left my previous work and started working on myself, I had a dream to work only when I have a wish and have as many free time as possible. But I work a lot because I have a dream to visit as many countries as possible, so all my earned money goes for traveling. 

What I am doing? On weekdays it’s not worth talking about free time at all: my direct work on projects takes a lot of time, and if I am at my office, I turn on the coffee machine several times, but I forget to fill the cup, I read and write emails while having lunch, I know it’s unhealthy, and I promise myself I’ll try to fix it. There are so many works to do even if I am not busy to finish one or another project. The weekends are busy because my children come for a common dinner or we go somewhere together. 

And when at a free minute I open Virily, I have time just to read my favorite authors, but not always even leave a comment because I am always in a rush. So often I open Virily only before going to sleep, and it is after midnight already. So, I again rush.

But where am I so rushing? 

My friends – nowhere rushing and so peaceful. They sleep at nights while I am turning from one side to another without sleep making new plans and projects eagerly counting hours when that Time of Doing Nothing will end. It always looks that I lack a few hours in a day.Sometimes I am scared because I don’t know how to stop.I take a deep breath to hear myself.“Have the courage to live slower.”I repeat it daily to remember.

© Fortune, 2009