My experience of the world was first as a son. Then as a father. Father’s see the world differently than mothers do. Many years ago, and I have told this story before, my daughter spent a lot more time with me than with my wife. I was the one home at the same time every day. My job was stressful but phone-based, so I could answer helpdesk calls in the car, at home or anywhere else I was. Plus, my boss understood the reality of having to pick up children. At that time my wife had a job that she worked 40 hours or 100 hours. It wasn’t easy to know what the week would bring. She would take our daughter to Daycarephone-based, and I would pick her up. I could guarantee I was there before the daycare closed.
One summer day, we went over to Indiana to see my parents. It was a 2.5-hour drive from where we were in or near Cincinnati to Bloomington Indiana. We were in my parent’s back yard, and our daughter fell and skinned her knee. She was at one end of the deck. I was sitting at the other end of the deck, and my wife, mother, and both sisters were between us. Our daughter started crying got up and ran, past my mother, sisters and my wife and came to me. I took her inside and cleaned up the knee. I didn’t think anything about it. That is what dad’s do. We make things better. My wife thought a lot about it; in fact, I didn’t realize how much until we got into the car.
She, my wife, was upset. Not with me, but with herself. She spent the 2.5 hours back to Cincinnati beating herself up. It bothered her that our daughter needed daddy to fix her knee, not mommy. I tried to explain the differences but sadly did so from a dad perspective. Mom has a much different view of her children than does dad. That difference is important. It helps children understand their place and later their role. My wife and I, by the end of the car ride decided to figure out a way for her to reduce the impact of her job. While the kids tend still to bring injuries to me (I have a longer first aid experience than my wife) they go to mom now, with the emotional issues. The ones that dad usually either steps on or causes.
Rub dirt on it, or walk it off only goes so far when your heart is broken!