Albert Herdianto Widjojo
There is a proverb in the Indonesian language which reads, “Ants across the ocean can be seen, but elephants in front of the eyes are not visible.” Of course, the proverb is easy to understand, but to keep away from the perspective which insinuated by it is not as easy as saying it.
If someone is only seen negatively, that person must be frustrated, but actually, those who have that perspective also suffer. A perspective that is always and only able to see deficiencies or the bad side of others is a way that is detrimental to all parties, but especially also oneself because that way at least gives equal energy to make it exactly what we think. In the end, they will assume that they have bad luck because they only have all that is bad; family, relatives, friends, spouse, children, etc.
We know that in life, we must learn to see the good side of others. If you feel unhappy to see other people, it is actually because you do not understand they selves and only see a part of him, even using a magnifying glass to see the bad side, which causes concern for himself.
However, sometimes it is not us who feel unhappy to see other people, but because other people feel unhappy to see you. “What mistakes have I made?”, “What is my fault with him?” As time goes by, you begin to distance yourself from that person, not even greeting each other again. That’s just one example of how that perspective can be very detrimental.
This afternoon, my wife told me sadly because once again she was considered bad because she could not fulfill the expectations or desires of others – who were close to her, who had been asking for help from her many times since long ago – only because my wife was not healthy these days. With tears in her eyes, my wife said, “I will no longer care about her, will no longer help her.”
Ahhh… If people use a magnifying glass to see more of the positive side of others, the world must be more beautiful.
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Question of
Do you know someone with that perspective?
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Yes
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No
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Question of
Do you stay away from that person?
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Yes
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No
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Users voted 8 times.
Q: Do you know someone with that perspective?
Yes (9 votes) – 100%
Q: Do you stay away from that person?
Yes (5 votes) – 63%
No (3 votes) – 38%
I’m always looking for the good side of others but if can’t find it I’m stay away from them.
You have principles and wisdom to respond to the circumstances, Milena.
Is it a compliment? I am just like that.
I don’t know it’s a compliment or not, I just say opinions about you.
Thank you for your opinion!
You are most welcome, Milena.
It is my pleasure, Albert!
That is like the saying we have about straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel…or a similar one about seeing a splinter in your brother’s eye but missing the board in your own.
I agree that both sayings are similar to our saying. It’s just that, I just found out the two sayings from you. Thanks
People from all over the world have some differences, but much is just the same. People are people with much in common wherever we live.
Indeed, the wisdom comes from both sides of duality that happened all over the world, in all ages, from all human mind and behavior.
I know a lot of such people
May we always be given patience and understanding to empathize with their suffering.
So, a friend is just not the same – it’s sad
I agree, my friend. It is sad to see the behavior of the owners of negative perspectives, but I also feel sorry for their suffering that their own making.
The more things stay the same the more they change. While I believe in the reality of perceptions, I do work hard to remove mine from professional situations.
I am not as able in personal relationships to do so. But I am trying!
We, with a mind that is stuck to the ego, must be difficult to get rid of such a negative perspective, but it can certainly at least shift that tendency as long as there is the intention, determination and strong awareness to do it, right?
Agree. My dad used to always say the best thing to do is your best.
Again, I totally agree with your dad.
It’s just to hard to please everyone, especially one who is hardly contented or appreciative.
While it’s hard, it’s good to let go at times. It may be better for both sides.
I’ve heard a song which says, “who has nothing better to do than using a magnifying glass to view the world? Don’t you feel tired?”
For me, if I dislike someone, it’s hard to “undo” it.
We really cannot please everyone, but obviously, there are people who tend only see things negatively, and that certainly causes many people to get hurt on one side and damage themselves mentally at once.
It seems like the song’s lyrics are interesting …
I can’t blame you on your way when you dislike someone, but in my wife’s case, she’s a forgiving person, if she gets upset and says “won’t care and help anymore”, it must only be her expression to let go of resentment.
The song talks about the beauty if we see things “blurry” – like we are not so scrutinising and trying to see every details. I thought it’s pretty cool plus the beat is nice.
I’m glad your wife is a forgiving person. She has her way of letting go of resentment, and it’s good that she does that. Some people are so kind they won’t say anything negative or do things that help release bottled up emotions, fearing it’s not nice.
If it’s a heavy metal genre, I will look for it!
My wife, never said harshly to others, except me, where she let go of all her fatigue. That way, in his eyes, sometimes I look like Tom Cruise, and sometimes like Mr. Trash can. And for that, I must grateful.
Nope, it’s not, more of English/British Rock.
Ooo, at least you’re Tom Cruise for a while …
That you must be grateful…
hahaha :p
Nahhh… you have captured my intentions very clearly.
So, your intention is to praise your wife …
yes, she is indeed lenient
I know what you mean since my beef with some people who are fictional characters in cartoons due to their wealth and power like to put down people that they disagree with in life. For example in the cartoons series “Miraculous Ladybug And Cat Noir” the character Chloe Bourgeois in my opinion is a bad person because she sneers down at her fellow students.
You have shown this latent tendency in an interesting and deep picture, Dee.
Thank you Albert for your kind comments. Despite my dislike for people with huge egos, I would not to cross the line and harm them.
Only a wise person who has such kind of principles.
That is true since I am familiar with the saying “Walk a mile in the shoes of another person.”
It is clear that you really adhere to the principles that make you very empathic.
I try to learn new things and improve to be a better person.
I respect people like you and so glad to have a friend like you, Dee.
My pleasure to try to live by the Golden Rule of life.
Albert this is a significant issue that you have addressed. We are all guilty of having being that person sometime. At different times we stand at different points of the circle.
You’re so right, Bradley. We are not a saint so obviously, we can stand at different points at different times, but we also see that some people have different tend of dominance. The awareness is the key.
So very sorry for your wife. People will take advantage of the good ones in life. And they do not have time to think of other’s feelings. Such a sad situation.
I think all humans have a mental disorder, including me, but there are people who have a very high level of disturbance even though they don’t realize it, even though their own families have been severely disturbed by their various acts.
That is powerful Albert. And I completely agree with you. The problem is most others win’t agree. But they are not seeing things in reality.
Thanks for your thought, Carol.
I think become introspective is so important to raise self-awareness, which is the key to being wise, and ultimately to see the true reality.