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Checkist about Bullying …

Yes, this is a big topic … and it is somewhat a topic that a definition is difficult. I’ve asked a person with more than 5 years of experience working in a student care and wellness industry, and even her cannot give a definition.

She vaguely gave it as “continuously over a period of time, name-calling/verbal or physical/actions that cause discomfort or mental stress to someone else”…

And then I asked does outcasting/ostracize and public shaming counts? She said, “it depends”.

I also did a quick research and found these:

Also called electronic or online bullying, cyberbullying includes a range of harmful words and actions that take place in the digital world.  Some examples:

  • sending mean messages to someone
  • sharing embarrassing pictures of them
  • making up and spreading untrue stories about them
  • telling others to ignore someone or leave them out of activities” – healthychildren.org

After combining the “definition” from both sources, I formed my own idea of “bully” – it should consist of continuous sending of mean messages, videos or pictures, slandering and actions (Which includes outcasting/ostracize) that caused discomfort/bad reputation and mental stress.

Sometimes bullying happens with a “good”/”righteousness” in mind, that stirred out of control. Like when a teacher point out a boy (Peter) was picking his nose too much and should mind his hygiene. The classmates started calling him “unhygienic Peter” or “nose-picking Peter” slowly they started not playing with him because he is “unhygienic”… They felt it’s “OK” or even “Right” since the teacher has picked that out – he was picking his nose and “too much”! But well, this is bullying.

Well, this poll is a checklist… I would like to emphasis this is not collate by the person who work in the student care industry and would not be 100% accurate, nor is it to shame or blame anyone. This is a CHECKLIST and for us to reflect on, to see if we’re bother-line or even crossing the line of becoming a bully ourselves.

Click “Bully” if you think it is a bullying act and”no” if you think it’s not! This is anonymous so you should and can be as honest as you want, no one should be JUDGED for this!

NOTE: I welcome debates and constructive “negative” comments on this post… I do not like to report anyone BUT if you’re here to attack anyone, solely for/on this post, I’ll REPORT your comment!!

  • This post’s definition of bully is not the same as your definition?

    • Yes
    • No
  • I think because my believe is “mainstream” (the popular believe) then I’ve the right to shame the people of different believe. (E.g: Positive Vs Negative, Slim Vs Fat, Pretty Vs Ugly…)

    • Bully
    • No
  • If I rally enough support, I can shame someone.

    • Bully
    • No
  • Name calling and/or public shaming on a bad behaviour.

    • Bully
    • No
  • Are all comments that don’t agree with something popular “negative”?

    • Yes
    • No
  • We don’t welcome bad attitude and behaviours.

    • We want them out!!!! GET OUT!!
    • We just want a change of attitude.
    • We’ll make a list of them to public shame them!
    • Nah, this post is all about excuses for bad bahaviours!
  • You believe that the 2nd side of the coin, is not important, afterall it’s usually not popular.

    • Yes
    • No
  • You see this post as a negative, shaming post!

    • Yes
    • No
  • You have commented/posted in an “outburst” or when you’re in anger and forgot to check your language/content?

    • Yes
    • No
  • You’ve over-reacted in some situations whereby you could either ignore or be more calm.

    • Yes
    • No
  • Can we do the deep breathing before we type when we’re boiling or in anger?

    • Yes
    • No
  • I can voice my opinion about anything (negative or positive) if I do it with no intention to hurt.

    • Agree!
    • Yes, but it could go bad …
    • Disagree!
    • No! It’s excuses!!
  • You see this post as unnecessary!

    • Yes
    • No

What do you think?

18 points
Legend

Written by alibb

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28 Comments

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  1. I was a cyberbully once, I told someone to ignore someone else.
    I was such a bad kid back then. 😐
    Children lack the maturity and teachers should always be the good example. It’s mostly about the golden rule, always asking if we’d like to be treated the way we treat others.

    • I agree, children needs guidance. but then It’s really hard to tell what crosses the line, even adults cannot find that balance sometimes.
      The golden rule, yes I agree! If only everyone follows it or take a minute to think about it, then I guess the world would be a better place 🙂

    • It’s funny people who I had conflicts with here consider me a bully because of my reactions, but actually they are also the people who write anonymously about me and telling other people how to behave based on that… In all the cases I turn out to be the “bad” one while actually they are doing bad by acting that way too… Thankfully, there are people who don’t judge by that but on personal relations…

  2. This post is about real life. Bullies are on facebook showing how to bully, and sometime with physical injury It makes me cry. The other day I saw a facebook post about someone hitting an elderly person. I sobbed. Great post to draw awareness about bullies.

    • You’re very kind and sympathetic, LaJenna … When I see bullying, my first reaction is angry! So I try to avoid such videos, but I’ve seen a few videos of bullying by schooling children (as young as 5-7). A group of children hitting one girl… it makes me angry!
      It’s ugly and I don’t see why they’re enjoying it.

  3. I don’t like bullying in any form
    Here I will say bullying has a much wider range.
    Mental and physical…
    I have received both.

    I will say most people just want peace but one get upset when there is mis understanding and that can be cultural differences as well as language

  4. Users voted 8 times.
    Q: I think because my believe is “mainstream” (the popular believe) then I’ve the right to shame the people of different believe. (E.g: Positive Vs Negative, Slim Vs Fat, Pretty Vs Ugly…)

    Bully (6 votes) – 67%
    No (3 votes) – 33%

    Q: If I rally enough support, I can shame someone.

    Bully (5 votes) – 56%
    No (4 votes) – 44%

    Q: Name calling and/or public shaming on a bad behaviour.

    Bully (8 votes) – 89%
    No (1 votes) – 11%

    Q: You see this post as a negative, shaming post!

    No (8 votes) – 100%

    Q: You see this post as unnecessary!

    Yes (1 votes) – 11%
    No (8 votes) – 89%

    Q: Are all comments that don’t agree with something popular “negative”?

    Yes (3 votes) – 38%
    No (5 votes) – 63%

    Q: This post’s definition of bully is not the same as your definition?

    Yes (6 votes) – 60%
    No (4 votes) – 40%

    Q: You believe that the 2nd side of the coin, is not important, afterall it’s usually not popular.

    Yes (2 votes) – 25%
    No (6 votes) – 75%

    Q: We don’t welcome bad attitude and behaviours.

    We want them out!!!! GET OUT!! (2 votes) – 25%
    We just want a change of attitude. (6 votes) – 75%

    Q: You have commented/posted in an “outburst” or when you’re in anger and forgot to check your language/content?

    Yes (3 votes) – 38%
    No (5 votes) – 63%

    Q: You’ve over-reacted in some situations whereby you could either ignore or be more calm.

    Yes (6 votes) – 75%
    No (2 votes) – 25%

    Q: Can we do the deep breathing before we type when we’re boiling or in anger?

    Yes (7 votes) – 88%
    No (1 votes) – 13%

    Q: I can voice my opinion about anything (negative or positive) if I do it with no intention to hurt.

    Agree! (5 votes) – 63%
    Yes, but it could go bad … (3 votes) – 38%

  5. You defined bullying as I see it as well. Over the last few years cyberbullying has led many to suicide. It has gotten out of hand and should be talked about. It happens in silence more than we want to know about. The statistics are heartbreaking and it is so unnecessary. We should always be kind.

  6. I only know I’m reacting when I think or feel something is not fair, when someone does or say to me something I don’t find fair or correct or if a person is not fair in some other ways… I try to explain nicely first, but if a person is not willing to understand or act mean in some way then I can be upset and react more, often trying to explain more detailed so the person could understand but seems some don’t understand even then… Unfortunately, the people who don’t understand write articles or comments based on that, and sometimes even interpreting some things not the exact way I meant them which was making me react even more… Now, I don’t care… Now, when I see something like that I just say what I think about it and report if it’s offensive. There are also comments that one person was constantly reporting – even the valid and informative ones…

    PS Not sure if that “ta ta ta” should imply something, hehehehehe…..? ;p)

    • I also must add, I don’t understand people who are reading other people’s comments and making conclusions not knowing the whole situation, or even worse making conclusions Without reading… More worse is advising others based on that…
      I am never interested in other people’s comments except if it’s something important…

    • Nope, that’s just typing sound (“ta ta ta”) … haha
      This illustration was meant for other post (I just reused it :p)

      There will always be misunderstanding where there is people … It’s hardly that everyone gets what everyone else said perfectly, and sometimes we picked a wrong vocab to express … (or like me, I sometimes do direct translation :p)

      The things is how you want to clear out the misunderstanding. Sometimes, we even argued, and then that is more the time we should keep calm (not easy, I know. I can’t handle it well face 2 face but I can do it a little better online because I can sit back, calm down and then think about what I’m going to type/reply)

      Someone told me the other day, “just think if someone else writes what you’re going to reply(post) to you… if you feel you’re not going to like it, then don’t post it, chances are the person won’t like it too.” Also, some things are better left behind and let go… from both sides.

      I respect your decision to become less active … We all get busy sometimes 🙂

      • Yes, I thought it was something like that, but these days you never know, hehehe….! :/| 😀 😉

        Yes, I completely agree with you…

        Unfortunately, sometimes people don’t understand even when you try it in a nice way too… That is why I get “mad”…

        • There is an option to ignore, tas
          If someone don’t understand something or are not receptive, chances are they’ll not get it even if you explain a billion times :p
          You’re better off ignoring and spending your time on better things, like making your nice bags, drawings,crafts and photography.

          • I know… I just can’t ignore when something hurts me… Especially when I know I don’t deserve that – on the contrary… :/ 😐
            Ehhhhh….., yes…, unfortunately…..
            I completely agree with you!!!!! 😀 And thank you for being so nice, kind and supportive…. 🙂 This place became quite toxic in a way so I really need to reduce my time here which I’m actually already doing… I have an article in preparation about it… :/

  7. Sorry, I answered the last one incorrectly.

    I do think this post is necessary (should have selected no).

    It is important that people understand the topic, Bullying. Thank you for bringing this to the light!

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