LaJenna
Doc Anderson’s post inspired me today. Here is his inspiring post. You will be inspired as well.
Doc Anderson posts got me thinking about regrets, and I have a question for you all. If you have been holding on to a regret that is more than a little bad, what would you do? I mean regrets about something so bad, that talking about it to people makes everyone say STOP.
I know someone that is seeing a counselor and has shared regrets he has been harboring. I can’t stand to hear it anymore. I have heard a lot in my days that shocked me, but this tops them all I think. Personally, I think he should forgive himself, bury them, and go on with his life.
My question
Should he keep counseling about certain regrets, or bury them forever. I know someone that chose to vent about their past, and then this person started having flair-ups for a long time. When this person buried it in the past, the person’s actions were better.
I know someone else that has buried the past, and has even told me she does not remember things that she said to someone, but knows the words were not good. She goes on better not knowing the full details of somethings she regrets that she said to someone years ago. She has moves on, forgave herself, and is a better person for it.
I want to advise the one person to just bury his past about his regrets. NOW, what is your opinion?
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Yes tasartcraft it is a normal thing but not if done in an overboard way. This one person I know goes way overboard.
LaJenna, first thank you for sharing this. Second thanks for the call out! Regrets are so hard so difficult to put into a box and we often let them out by accident. What a great question to ask for your friend. He is lucky to have someone as caring as you around. I once wrote a poem with the line Regrets Fill Paper bags with bottles of wine, so we can forget. I suspect forgiving is the hardest thing.
Beautiful and well written!
Doc,Thank you for the nice words. It is just hard to take non-stop, that is what I am dealing with. I try to be empathic, but it seems never enough.
My way of handling regrets is to let go of the bad decision that we all make and do not let it consume you from getting after your goals.
Thank you Deepizzaguy for your thoughts. I think letting go of regrets is the best way to handle it.
Negative thoughts will harm you better than having positive thoughts which can make you happier.
Depends on the regrets and how well we can just toss them aside. Personally, if I have ever regretted anything by now it is long past and I do not dwell on it. If someone regrets something then the moment to react on it and hopefully turn things around is when the regret has just occurred.
He isn’t going to let go of anything until he is ready to do it. The best you can do is let him know you care but if you try and take it away now, he will just clutch on tighter…
You are so right RasmaSandra, and thank you for sharing about this concern of mine. Your comment may just help this person.
You are right Alex, but this person I think is using his past for attention, and that is affecting others. he has many supporters, but because others are not showing concern he seeks attention in other people way. He knows what he is doing! This person is in counseling so I hope it will help before others are affected. Thank you
You can’t rush his process, so just give him the time he needs
Alex sometimes he does not take his medication right and the venting never stops it seems. My doctor is concerned about me.
If he is causing problems for you then you need to give him some space
I try to stay away for awhile then he thinks I am avoiding him and he gets paranoid. It is too hard to explain, but i just keep on trying to take just one day at a time. Thank you
sounds like he’s really causing you problems no matter what you do
Nothing is truly buried. Our past experiences affect us, directly or indirectly, consciously or not, until we process them and put them to bed as best we can. I believe that telling someone to forget the past and just move on, is ultimately counter-productive. Hey, there’s my 2 cents 🙂
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, just know everyone makes mistakes, but learning from them is the key to a better life. God bless
I find that burying it and not dealing with it is the worst thing to do. But maybe that is just my personal experience. Some things I am unable to forgive myself for, but I am always hoping that God will forgive me. I acknowlege I am a terrible person, and try to deal with my past. I realize I can’t change things I’ve said and done, but I can make an effort to not repeat past mistakes. Especially to think before i speak, and try to always remember that I am speaking to another human being who has feeling s and can be hurt by my words.
Well said, Riverwild. It is important to learn from our experiences rather than just pretend they never happened. But we must learn to forgive ourselves too.
Norman Learning to forgive ourselves is very important for healing to take root. I just hope this person lets it go before many people are hurt even more. Counseling is very important to talk it out, but then to start over one must forgive oneself. Thank you!