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Bizarre Laws Part 2

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Indiana:

  • It is illegal for a man to have a mustache if he has a tendency to regularly kiss other people.
  • Every Indiana resident is required to spend six days a year working on the public roads.

Kansas:

  • Uhh, yeah. If two trains meet on the same track, neither is allowed to proceed until the other has passed. You can see they put a lot of thought into this one.

Kentucky:

  • It is a violation for a woman to appear on a highway wearing only a bathing suit unless she has at least two policemen with her and is armed with a club.
  • Got any naked people at home. Make sure you register them.

Iowa:

  • In Ottumwa, Iowa it is illegal to wink at a woman to whom you have not been introduced.
  • In Ames, Iowa it is illegal for a man to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with their wife.
  • One-armed piano players are not allowed to charge for a performance.

Louisiana:

  • If you wear false teeth and bite someone, it is considered to be assault.

Maine:

  • You cannot buy a car on Sunday unless it has plumbing.

Maryland:

  • It is illegal to spit on the sidewalk.

Massachusetts:

  • It is illegal to have sex with a rodeo clown in front of the horses.
  • This state seems a bit sex-obsessed since it is also illegal to have sex with the woman on top.
  • In the town of Woburn it is illegal to imbibe in an alcoholic drink while standing up. Of course, if you drink enough, standing up won’t be your problem.

Michigan:

  • It’s against the law to have sex in a car unless it’s parked on your own property.

Minnesota:

  • It is illegal to smoke underwater. Keep in mind this is the “Land of 10,000 Lakes.”
  • In Alexandria, Minnesota it is illegal for a man to have sex with his wife if his breath smells of garlic, onions or sardines.
  • When you file your state taxes in Minnesota, make sure you include your date of death.

Mississippi:

  • You cannot seduce a woman by promising to marry her.

Missouri:

  • Unmarried men between 18 and 50 years of age must pay an annual $1 tax.

Montana:

  • A group of seven or more Indians is considered to be a war party and you are allowed to shoot them.

Nebraska:

  • There is a state ban on fishing for whales.

Nevada:

  • If you are going to buy a round of drinks, it can’t be for more than three people.

New Hampshire:

  • It is illegal to show a movie before 2:00 PM.

New Jersey:

  • If you are in Bergen County and need a new car or t-shirt, don’t try to buy it on Sunday. The same goes for any article of clothing or furniture.
  • Also, if it’s Sunday, forget about trying to sell your cabbages.

New Mexico:

  • Idiots and insane people may not vote. Apparently there’s nothing to prevent them from running for office, however.

New York:

  • You may not stick your thumb to your nose and wiggle your fingers at someone. Of course you can give them the finger.

North Carolina:

  • Bingo games cannot exceed five hours in length.

North Dakota:

  • You cannot serve beer and pretzels simultaneously.

Ohio:

  • You are not allowed to kill a housefly within 160 feet of a church.

Oklahoma:

  • It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
  • You are not allowed to make funny faces at your dog. It doesn’t say if you can make funny faces at someone else’s dog.

Oregon:

  • Using canned corn for bait while you are fishing is a definite no-no.

Pennsylvania:

  • You are not allowed to tell of fortune-teller where to dig for buried treasure. Shouldn’t they know where already?

South Carolina:

  • This one is one of my favorites. Bonneau will fine you $445 if you dangle fake testicles from your truck. Just in case you were thinking of doing that.
  • You have to be at least 18 years old to operate a pinball machine. Sorry, all you potential pinball wizards.

South Dakota:

  • The state prohibits sleeping in a cheese factory.

Texas:

  • It is illegal to milk someone else’s cow.
  • If you are going to commit a crime against someone, you have to inform them of the details of what you plan to do at least 24 hours before you do it.

Utah:

  • Men are responsible for any crime their wife (wives?) commit in their presence.

Vermont:

  • It is illegal to whistle under water.
  • It is forbidden to serve margarine in triangular pats.

Virginia:

  • Chickens may only lay eggs between 8 AM and 4 PM.

Washington:

  • It is illegal to have sex with a virgin, even if it’s your wedding night. This probably explains why Washington state is not known as a big honeymoon destination.
  • Not only are you forbidden from having sex with a virgin, you can’t give her a lollipop. They’re illegal so that applies to everyone.

Wisconsin:

  • It is illegal to shoot your gun while your wife is experiencing an orgasm. I think the NRA needs to look into this one.
  • Prisons may not serve margarine to prisoners.

Wyoming:

  • It’s illegal to have sex while standing up in a walk-in meat freezer. In California this is called Wednesday.

Note: I did not forget Illinois. That state has its own page – This is why we pay our law makers the big bucks…

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Written by Gary J Sibio

15 Comments

  3. Missouri: Single men between 18 and 50 years of age have to pay an annual $ 1 tax. I remember years ago in Bulgaria there was a bachelor’s tax. I do not remember the age limits. Every month this tax
    was 10% and was suspended as a salary deduction. And the paradox of this law was that family couples without children also had to pay this tax.

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    • Was this when it was a Communist country? I’d heard once that, because of low birth rates, some Communist countries were trying to encourage (force?) people to have more children. Unfortunately a lot of what we heard about the Communist countries growing up in America in the 1950s and 60s was pure propaganda. I don’t know how much of any of it was accurate.

  5. Very funny. Well now we know why the police don’t come when you call them. they are bogged down with investigating all these laws and don’t have time to catch criminals!

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  6. Wow, another good one with references no less. I am still laughing with tears rolling down my cheeks. You made my day. Thank you for a hysterical post.

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  7. The ‘fishing with corn” law in Oregon actually makes sense, in a way. It’s called “chumming” and chumming with anything is illegal in Oregon.

    In Klamath Falls, Oregon, it is illegal to kick the head off a rattlesnake that sticks its head up through the boardwalk. There are no boardwalks in Klamath Falls and haven’t been for nearly a century, but the law is still on the books. It is specific for rattlesnakes though.

    It is also against the law in Klamath Falls to drive cattle down Main Street. Driving them down any other street is okay.

    In Montana, it is illegal for a woman to go fishing without being accompanied by a man. It is also illegal for a woman to fish on Sunday, even if they do have a man along.

    I don’t know if it is still against the law, but it used to be illegal in Miami to tie your pet alligator to a fire hydrant.

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    • Those are good ones. Did you know there is still a cattle trail in Chicago’s Loop? A farmer deeded some of his land to the city in the 1830s or 40s with the stipulation that his cattle trail be left intact for perpetuity so he could get his cattle to market. It’s closed off but it’s still there, between two office buildings.

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