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These laws are actually on the books in the specified location.
- It is against the law for a man to seduce “a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery, or a promise of marriage.”
- Don’t even consider wearing a fake mustache if it causes laughter in church.
- Hey all you nature photographers, it’s against the law in Alaska to wake bears for the purposes of taking a picture. If you want to have a nice chat with them, go ahead, poke them with a stick.
- If you do get the photo of the bear, don’t get drunk in a bar. Anywhere else is fine. Just not in a bar.
- Don’t even think of driving with your car in reverse.
- It is still illegal to commit adultery. The act is punishable with a fine between $20 and $100. Perhaps this is why Bill Clinton wanted to leave the state.
- You’re not allowed to pronounce Arkansas incorrectly.
- You will be fined if you detonate a nuclear device. Aww, come on. Everyone needs a hobby. Killjoys!
- It’s illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar in San Diego.
- Bah humbug, San Diego. If you leave your Christmas lights on your house past February 2nd, you can be fined up to $250.
- Attention San Francisco elephant owners. You are not allowed to walk your pet down Market Street unless it’s on a leash.
- San Francisco also prohibits wiping your car with used underwear.
- Ugly people are not allowed to walk down any street in San Francisco.
- In San Francisco you are not allowed to pile horse manure on your street corner past a height of six feet. (What about elephant dung?)
- Thinking of starting your own McDonalds franchise. Not in Carmel-by-the-Sea you won’t. They don’t allow chain restaurants.
- It is illegal to kiss a sleeping woman. If you are waiting for your Prince Charming, move to another state.
- People must not dress unbecoming of their sex.
- Put away that Scrabble game whenever a politician is talking. Playing it is illegal. You might want to try a drinking game instead, anyway.
- It is prohibited to get married on a dare.
- Women who commit suicide by electrocuting themselves in a bathtub with a “self-beautification utensil” (toasters are OK, I guess) will be fined. Good luck collecting that fine.
- Appearing in public wearing only swimming trunks is against the law.
- Everyone must own a boat. I guess you can wear your swimming trunks there.
- In Quitman, Georgia it is against the law for a chicken to cross the road — for any reason.
- You can’t keep ice cream in your back pocket on Sundays. Monday through Saturday, no problem.
- If you live in the town of Sandy Springs, don’t even think about picking up your trash before 7:00 AM.
- You are not required to give chocolate to a girl you wish to get to know but, if you do, it must be a minimum of fifty pounds.
- It is against the law to be out on the street without a smile on your face.
- It is against the law to ride a carousel on Sunday.
- Unless you are a dog, it is illegal to sleep in a dog house.
- According to a law from 1912: “The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless same are exhibited to public view.”
- It is illegal to buy a chicken after dark unless you get the sheriff’s permission.
- In the city of Idaho Falls it is illegal to ride a motorcycle if you are over 88 years old.
- Motorists are forbidden from scowling or grimacing.
© 2018 Gary J. Sibio. All rights reserved.