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Wander project the lines we cross…

Like most people, I suspect I have lines where there are happy times, and lines where there are sad times. My saddest lines, the ones that I don’t want to cross but sometimes I do, are the losses. There are many huge losses in my life to date. Friends that I lost forever. Three of my four parents (I never met my first wife’s parents) are now gone. I miss Joan Raising. I miss golfing with Les Ralstin. I know it sounds strange, but sometimes I miss arguing with my father. Yes. I also miss conversations, sharing and just being in the same room with him. I miss my grandfather and his gentle hand. He was always there with great advice and a potential path forward. Think, he would always say, about this.

He, my grandfather, and I often took long walks and talked. I miss those. I miss spending the day just shopping with my mother. She and I also have a great passion for Peter Sellers movies. We would rush to the teacher with each new Pink Panther movie.  We also love Agatha Christie movies. I do still get to talk to mom on Sunday’s and when we visit her or she visits us, and that is a wonderful thing. A very happy line to cross not sad. Then there are people I don’t talk to anymore. For whatever reason, of which I am sure part is my fault, we don’t speak anymore. Some of them, because they aren’t ready to accept that part, well in fairness even ½ the issue is their responsibility, fault if you have to assign blame.

Recently in thinking about those I no longer talk to, I’ve come to realize that the best thing for me to do is to continue moving on. I cannot change perceived injustice. It is perceived and not real. There is nothing I can do now to make it go away. I am responsible for my ½ of all situations. I won’t take more than ½ of an issue. It has taken me a few years to get to this place as a person. But I know, I do my best. I try my hardest. I am sorry to anyone I’ve wronged. But to those who don’t bother to return that sentiment, I don’t need to apologize. Apologies are two-way streets, and if you can’t be bothered to be on the street, I don’t need to apologize to you. Let me know when you are ready. I am ready.

Life is a series of lines. The hardest line to draw is the one we have to draw to protect ourselves.

What do you think?

5 points
Legend

Written by DocAndersen

I am a long time blogger and technology poster.I focus on what is possible, but I also try to see what is coming. In recent years I have been focused on sharing the memories of my family, as part of my Family History Project.

14 Comments

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  1. This is a powerful statement…. “The hardest line to draw is the one we have to draw to protect ourselves.” It is so true Doc. I can personally relate this to a family member. I do not have many left, and have endured many losses. I have lots of fond memories of all of my lost loved ones and miss them each every single day. The ones that have a problem with me for whatever reason, it bothered me for awhile and probably always will but when you know you did nothing wrong and can walk with your head held high, that is what you need to do. Keep moving forward. If they catch up with you, good, if not, acceptance is the route to take.

  2. Thank you for the show of great interesting photos. Sorry for your losses. I know the feeling, but I try to make time for thinking about the good memories, and time to think about the now. It helps

  3. I had one of these “moments” no to long ago. I hadn’t seen my childhood friend in many years. I traveled about 500 miles to go the funeral of her mother. Our families had been close for over 25 years growing up together and then we moved.

    At the funeral she told me I had ruined her life because we played in the play house make believe games. Like we pretended to have a restaurant and serve and sold fake food. She said she hated imagining things and it was very unhealthy. And they she said “Oh, I think I am supposed to thank you for coming.”

    I said “no need”, and walked away. That door closed.

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