Losing Everyone Might Help; JuNoWriMo Day Fourteen

Oh, those times when you hear someone say, “I just want what’s best for you.” They get to me.

How can somebody else, especially someone who seems so out-of-touch with a drug addict’s situation, know what’s best for me?

I don’t even know what’s best for me.

Sometimes, at least, anyone hoping to make some drastic changes in their life needs to make some drastic changes in their life.

Sometimes, a body just needs to get alone and muddle through their thoughts, meditate, suffer through what they must and go through what is only fair, without someone there to rescue (enable) them again.

If you’re surrounded by people who will not let you reach your bottom, you might just need to take a jump and dive for your bottom.

It’s not just a matter of getting away from your fellow dopeheads and the dealers and all your dumb “friends.”

Sometimes you also need to get away from actual loved ones, real friends and concerned family who do actually love you and work your own problems for yourself.

You are in strange waters, now, surrounded by the sharks of uncertainty. Swim with the sharks. Be comfortable with the uncertainty.

Swim with them, alone.

Even your closest, loving family and your best real friend can mess up your progress in getting clean by rescuing you.

It will be great when you can see them again but until you learn to deal with sobriety and being drug free on your own, then it is best to stay away from anyone and everyone.

I found, even the so-called recovery groups were infested with dealers only hoping to meet a new customer. I could not even turn to them for the honestnhelp I needed.

Over the years, to please everyone else, I lost myself. I had to lose everyone else to find myself.

That’s just the way it goes.


What do you think?

Written by DonaldPennington


  1. We cannot properly love or be loved by others until we love ourselves, not in the selfish sense, but in valuing ourselves just as we are. Too many people think they can fix other people or that other people can fix them. It all starts with us. I am what I am.