Vicious circle

I  know how things already existed before me so everything will remain after me. This world does not need me to exist at all.

There was a time when I thought that I am the center, the axis. I really felt that way because I was loved for nothing from birth, just because I was! Without efforts, I was the center of my world, the axis of my parents’ life, and when I matured, while still forming my family, I felt the main hero of my life, thinking that I was leading the course of my life.

But later, I have realized and experienced that as my children grow up, become independent, separated from us, approaching our mature life, losing my own parents, I begin to realize that the axis is changing location.

I am now more anxious and worried about others than myself, I understand that I am only a particle, that our aspirations (to be happy, successful, beloved) are the same, that everything repeats like a vicious circle, that I never been the axis of my life. Midlife crisis?

© Fortune, 2019