The language of love

The language of love. My friend Maya’s parents, a Russian and a Kazakh, used to talk in this language, half a year after their acquaintanceship, they carried marriage applications still not knowing each other’s mother tongue. The language of love was more important.

A couple of months ago my daughter visiting us left the book “Five Languages of Love”; I was reading a little by little and so I finished although I do not love self-help books.

I realized that out of those five – words of support, quality time together, unselfish actions, touches, and gifts – tools that make people express love and feel loved – I need them all!

The author of the book, Gary Chapman, mentions that sometimes those languages are inherited from a pattern of love experienced in the family. Now I am thinking that it is very difficult to love a  man grown in a harmonious family. And how easy it is to win a heart that has never felt tenderness and attention.

Because I show love very passionately and actively in all five languages of love to my husband and both children, it goes out that I grew up very demanding future lovers of someone… or how?

The essence of the book is that if my love language is words and my lover’s – actions, no matter how much actions he would do for me, and how many words of love I would say to him, both would feel unloved. Such light American self-help teaching how to speak a lover’s love language. As I mentioned, I rarely read self-help books because most of them are written by not successful and happy writers (that is my opinion).

© Fortune, 2019