Interesting email sent to me by a long time reader – the definition of Cyber Bullying. “actions that make the person receiving the expressed information feel uncomfortable.” It is not the attacking of ideas. That is something outside of Cyber Bullying. It, the attacking of ideas, is part of the broader concept of discourse. One of the reasons I spend so much time to document communication patterns and their resulting anti-patterns is that issue. If you don’t like my ideas, I am fine with that. I will defend my ideas. I will have the discourse with you. I do not expect that all people will, in fact, agree with me. I understand that I am not always right, and I am always willing to acknowledge when I am wrong.
But, if you attack me as a person, then the wall comes up. The reality of personal attacks is that all of us do it. It is unintentional, but it happens. If we accidentally attack a person, the first thing to do is to remove the offensive post and then apologize. If we cannot remove the offensive post, then we have to privately and publically apologize for the transgression. Look, the accidental attacking of a person, not their ideas happen. The first time we forgive and move on, right? We don’t focus on the negative behavior we accept the person’s apology, and we move on. However, if the person does this to multiple people, and of course the warning sign to you a second time, we have to consider the source.
The source at that point is the edge of cyberbullying. It is worse, sometimes to do things when people don’t see you, know you or ever sit in the same places you do. The joy and wonder of the internet is the ability to meet, discuss ideas and carry on conversations with human beings we will never meet. The danger of the internet is the freedom that allows. We, as human beings have to treat people with respect. Ideas are something we can disagree with. Ideas are something we can consider, examine and reject. No matter what or how we progress we cannot, however, attack the actual person. Name calling, labeling and all the other forms of attack online, are not acceptable.
There is a great Cyber Bullying Pledge. Think before you type!
No one has the right to attack you as a person. No one should call names or make you feel uncomfortable!
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Question of
What do you do when someone attacks you personally?
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I ignore that person and move on
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I report that person to the site in question
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I stop posting on the site this happened on.
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Question of
I have encountered Cyber Bullying
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Yes
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No
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Question of
I feel I have been bullied here on Virly
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Yes
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No
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Question of
I have been bullied here on Virly
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Yes
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No
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This is a subject that needs talking about. It has not happened here but I know many who have encountered over the years. Senseless and it can cause really bad things to happen…. for no reason.
It is a sad reality of the modern world. Often we don’t know how bad it is for some people until it is too late.
Yes and teens have always had it rough.
I’ve been physically assaulted, so verbal abuse isn’t really effective on me anymore…
That is good to know – a lot of people are sadly. It is a hard world at times.
it definitely gave me perspective
it does, I worry at times that we as people are far too removed from the connection we used to have. It takes a village they say. But the reality is it takes more than a village. The connection between people on the internet is razor thin. It is ok to attack someone personally, not their ideas. Perhaps I am wrapped around the world that was, but that worries me.
We network differently than we used to. The more connections you have, the more superficial they must be. Now the emphasis seems to be in quantity, not quality
I have a lot of followers on twitter, but that is more to increase the rate and hits on my blogs. I am more limited on other SM sites however.