Tech Wiz on the reality of Cyber Bullying…

Interesting email sent to me by a long time reader – the definition of Cyber Bullying. “actions that make the person receiving the expressed information feel uncomfortable.” It is not the attacking of ideas. That is something outside of Cyber Bullying. It, the attacking of ideas, is part of the broader concept of discourse. One of the reasons I spend so much time to document communication patterns and their resulting anti-patterns is that issue. If you don’t like my ideas, I am fine with that. I will defend my ideas. I will have the discourse with you. I do not expect that all people will, in fact, agree with me. I understand that I am not always right, and I am always willing to acknowledge when I am wrong.

But, if you attack me as a person, then the wall comes up. The reality of personal attacks is that all of us do it. It is unintentional, but it happens. If we accidentally attack a person, the first thing to do is to remove the offensive post and then apologize. If we cannot remove the offensive post, then we have to privately and publically apologize for the transgression. Look, the accidental attacking of a person, not their ideas happen. The first time we forgive and move on, right? We don’t focus on the negative behavior we accept the person’s apology, and we move on. However, if the person does this to multiple people, and of course the warning sign to you a second time, we have to consider the source.

The source at that point is the edge of cyberbullying. It is worse, sometimes to do things when people don’t see you, know you or ever sit in the same places you do. The joy and wonder of the internet is the ability to meet, discuss ideas and carry on conversations with human beings we will never meet. The danger of the internet is the freedom that allows. We, as human beings have to treat people with respect. Ideas are something we can disagree with. Ideas are something we can consider, examine and reject. No matter what or how we progress we cannot, however, attack the actual person. Name calling, labeling and all the other forms of attack online, are not acceptable.

There is a great Cyber Bullying Pledge. Think before you type!

No one has the right to attack you as a person. No one should call names or make you feel uncomfortable!

  • What do you do when someone attacks you personally?

    • I ignore that person and move on
    • I report that person to the site in question
    • I stop posting on the site this happened on.
  • I have encountered Cyber Bullying

    • Yes
    • No
  • I feel I have been bullied here on Virly

    • Yes
    • No
  • I have been bullied here on Virly

    • Yes
    • No

What do you think?

3 points

Written by DocAndersen

I am a long time blogger and technology poster.I focus on what is possible, but I also try to see what is coming. In recent years I have been focused on sharing the memories of my family, as part of my Family History Project.


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  1. Doc, I don’t know who you referred here to but I hope you didn’t mean me, because it is a misconception… I also can’t discuss this if you are not talking to me…
    I tried to explain you the situation that happened, why I reacted the way I did, because I felt like you were imposing me something by repeating the same thing we already talked about, the login problem I had, like I am not allowed to talk to other people about that, you were actually telling me what to do, you quite believed you were right…! If you already expressed your opinion and I don’t agree with you, why do you think You have the right to impose something… I just feel like you have the need to always be right when actually you weren’t, and like you see, after the maintenance my problem is fixed, unlike you told me it was a browser problem… I also have my reasons why I believed it was like that… You don’t have rights over that, telling me what to do…
    Also!, I wouldn’t later react by replying to the comment I didn’t agree with if you later didn’t write that article where you actually wrote about something you thought I was doing…, “pointing fingers”… If you think that is only what I was doing, without any previous knowledge and awareness about the login problem and some other previous problems and experiences here than isn’t that actually your “personal attack” on me…..? Seems you are not aware of your own doings believing you are always right while accusing others’…

    What disappointed me is that I considered you a friend here, and was supporting All of your articles (you post 3 a day), even the ones I didn’t like that much, because I wanted to support you (like I wrote you in a private message), while you didn’t bother to support one of mine that I considered important to support (I post not that often, mostly once a week, if that much…) but doesn’t matter now, I even asked you about it in one comment, when you even avoided answering it… That is not how a friend acts and you are the first one talking about community here…!

    PS I will never understand a person who reports people for 1 Viril (copy-pasted comment and similar)! That is petty and not the “right thing” like you call it, but it is your right of course…

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