Ghostwriter
Things are rough and have been for at least a year now. I have stopped fighting for something good, fun, enlightening and the only goal is to make it through another day. It is like I am going through the motions of things that need to be done and that is all. I work, I pay my bills, I try and get some sleep. I make certain there is food for the family. I write some.
I can remember times when I used to laugh all day long and love my job. Yesterday my husband asked if I am really ever going to smile again and mean it. I laugh, and no one notices because of the movement I lost in my face. Something just looks and feels off. I am not fighting it. I am simply existing one day at a time to finish each task that must be completed.
I sometimes get a little lost in the music, and yet I feel like a big part of me is simply gone. My husband asked me why I don’t fight for anything anymore. I guess I just don’t what to fight for. I don’t see the future. I see an entire world winding down. I am tired of fighting for things that in the end won’t matter. I guess much like Eeyore I am a realist.
Here, listen to some music, it’s got to be better than reality now.
I wonder if there is ever really a need to fight for anything in our lives at all.
We are all a part of an overall life happening that just goes on with us in it, included. We do not need to fight to be part of this.
We more just need to, not so much enjoy, as that is hard to do at times, but at least be entertained by life, for it plays many strange games around us, for us, and with us included in its games too.
Humm, I grew up fighting for everything. Not against anyone but my own stubborn self.
I grew up avoiding every fight that I could avoid. I have always hated fighting for stuff. I hate competition too.
But, you make a good point, our main opponent is usually ourselves.
We do need to “fight” against our own complacency, stubbornness, etc, as you just said.
The saying is never say never just take it one day at a time and remember there is still a lot of good in this world. Hang in there and things will happen,
Things do happen every single day. We just have to watch for them.
We all need a break sometimes, I take one here and there and maybe you should as well. Eeyore will guide you through. But never give up.
I went and sang very loudly and off key in my car. It was fantastic.
Oh I know that feeling. When I say turn i u p, that is what I mean. Good for you.
Typo monster…. “turn it up”… 🙂
Even the greatest fighters need a breather. After a year of near-constant battle there is nothing wrong with breathing.
I wish I could offer more than words i know it is hard for you right now.
I clearly just need to keep on moving. Slowly and without much vigor, but moving none the less.
@DocAndersen “You are the lucky recipient of random comment number 108 “Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.” Woodrow Wilson
wow a Woodrow Wilson quote!!!
You do have to keep moving. It is really hard sometimes to keep moving but we have to do it!
Maybe you are tired of fighting and have had it. If that is the case I certainly can understand that. I am just tired of how things are for me right now. I just keep running in circles. I just do not feel like smiling these days so do not. My cat brings me to life because she is adorable and very entertaining and she doe not know it.
hannihar
You are the lucky recipient of random comment number 113 “Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.”
Author: Brian Tracy
Never stop trying, you may just help somebody each and every day. Your purpose is to help your family, which is a gift from God. You can teach them that each day gives us the chance to help someone. Pray for guidence!
@LaJenna
You are the lucky recipient of random comment number 114 “Two-minute attitude drill: To everyone: You can trust me. I’m committed to excellence. I care about you as a person. EVERY DAY: Do good. Do your best. Treat others as you would be treated. FOR TODAY: Nothing negative will escape my lips.”