Maybe it is grief, but why today? Why after so many years it is all of sudden so raw and fresh? What triggered the waterfall of tears, the confusion and that deep sense of loss that I thought I had dealt with. Today I feel like I just got the news that Mom died. It happened a long time ago.
I find it unsettling and worrisome. I can’t bring her back. She was so sick when she died. I know she feels no pain, so why can’t I stop crying? How do I even explain this? My family just keeps looking at me like I am crazy. I can’t even talk.
What is this and why now?