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Funny Quotes

1. “Dear Math, please grow up and solve your problems. I’m tired of solving them for you.” (Anonymous)

2. “When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?” it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” (Emma Bombeck)

3. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” (Rita Rosner)

4. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” (Mitch Hedberg)

5. “I know a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.” (Jerry Seinfeld)

  • Don’t forget to smile despite what, okay?

    • Yes
    • No
    • No

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Funny Quotes

In relation to Carol’s series of quotes, I thought it might be better to do the funny part of quotes. I hope you’ll enjoy them.

  1. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. (Albert Einstein)
  2. Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. (Bob Thaves)
  3. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. (Ashleigh Brilliant)
  4. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. (Bob Hope)

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Written by Introvert

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