When there’s a Secret Agenda

This only works if the person being spoken too is as repulsive as the person speaking.

If you are not a person who smiles in a face, and slanders behind a back, it won’t work.

If you are not a person who lies, creates rumours, invents scenarios to destroy other people, it won’t work on you.

<a href="https://www.thebalance.com/qualified-privilege-as-a-defense-in-a-defamation-case-398425" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Source</a>

 

Imagine someone coming up to you, unexpectedly, starting a conversation, and telling you that a person you know said a pile of nasty things about you.

If you are the same kind of person, as the one speaking, you’ll swallow it whole.  If you are not you will wonder…

a) why am I being told this?

b) why would someone say this about me?

c) what is the ‘get’ the speaker will receive by turning me against someone else?

<a href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/closeup-portrait-girl-whispering-into-woman-183447416" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Source</a>

 

When the speaker leaves, if you have a phone number of the one who ‘slandered’ you, you might call.   If you don’t you might wait until you see them.

If the alleged slanderer is so far on the edge of your acquaintanceship you barely recall them, you know the person in front of you is a liar and a troublemaker without more.

Very often, the person who speaks will start or finish with;  “Don’t tell [name] what I told you.”

This is a red flag your ears are collecting the words of a liar.

 

Normal people have better things to do than slander others.   They have lives.  Unless what you supposedly did damaged them personally, so that they speak out of hurt…

“Janey stole my husband!”   “Tommy smashed my car window”,  “Louise insulted me..”

they are not going to waste breath talking to someone about things you supposedly did which have no impact on their lives.

So why?

Why does someone do this?

Why does someone slander another person to a third party?

The speaker may have anger towards the third party and wants to turn others against him or her.   They have a ‘get’.   They want people on ‘their side’.

The speaker may have a nefarious purpose so as to get you to repeat what they say so you will be the one destroyed.

<a href="http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-slander.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Source</a>

 

Often the speaker will ‘pull your tongue’ get you to admit, reveal, explain, so that they fuel their fire, and then can say that YOU said….

The thing to do when this kind of person steps into your space is cut the conversation. Quickly.

If you can get up and go, that is what you do.   If you are stuck in an office, you can find a bathroom, can get bogged in work, can start to speak to someone else about an office topic, do anything to shut the person in front of you off.

For people who slander other people always have a secret agenda.