I Simply Don't Understand

Perhaps I just don’t understand because I only lived in a city for about four years. Today I was reading on this site and it was mentioned that there was another black man murdered that had not been reported as black. I don’t believe I have ever heard a report that a native American or Cherokee man or woman was murdered. You may guess by the name, but it is never mentioned. 

I have come to the conclusion that I believe “black lives matter” is a statement that is harmful to the unity of our country. Can you imagine what would happen if you showed up in a parade with a banner that said “white lives matter” or people over 50 matter, or Chinese Americans matter? People shouldn’t live or die based on race. It’s wrong in every sense, and riots fix nothing. It only keeps the stereotypes going.

I don’t believe there is an African American family within a 40-mile radius of where I live. My assumptions are the weather and remote location aren’t very appealing.

 The reason the Native Americans are here is the reservations are too far away to visit family and they like the country lifestyle, which is my educated guess.

Many in my family have mixed marriages with people from different countries. It’s never something that I announce unless it’s relevant to something we are doing. For example, if we are going to watch my nieces and nephews dance with the Latino group we may tell them who is performing what traditional dances. If we are going to a drum circle or PoWow we say so.

I have to wonder if I am so sheltered I can’t understand the problem. I am not afraid of someone because of race. I tend to be cautious around crowds. I carry a gun and have as long as I can remember. In the beginning, it was probably a squirt gun. If it is me or a mountain lion is going to die, I choose the mountain lion. If any man or woman is trying to kill me, I choose life.  I will fight.  I don’t believe race determines intelligence or character.

We have a gay couple in our community. I know they are gay because they announce it at every occasion. I don’t mind one way or the other and still, I find it odd that after four years of living across the road and seeing and talking with them almost every day. Having them over to dinner at least twice a month. Swapping groceries and helping each other they still say, “we’re gay you know”. My husband responds the same way every time “I am happy, you are happy.” 

Yesterday one member of the couple announced that what he said was offensive. So he said, “okay, then I hope you are grumpy.”

I started to laugh. “So you are gay, he has Alzheimer’s and both of you seem to be confused. My husband may understand your sexual orientation today or he may just think you are happy. Either way, he was giving you what he thought was an appropriate and kind response. If you can understand that wonderful. If you can not understand that, then please just give me a call when you need help and we’ll handle it that way.”

“Well, he offended us as a couple.”

“Okay, then kindly go on back home and continue on with your life. No worries.”

“So you won’t be our friends?”

I just turned and walked away. My husband on the other hand said. “I am sorry she offended you.”

How does life get this complicated?