I don’t know if hostility is an emotion, or a type of interpersonal relationship.
Anyhow, if inmity requires to be mutual, I’ve never had enemies.
It must be due to my attitude. I take every relationship seriously, and I’d rather not waste any effort in being hostile. Plus, I have high standards and it takes me a lot to think of someone as an enemy. Let me explain how.
All my unpleasant connections can be divided into two groups.
Opponents
People I compete with.
It could be someone at work, someone who approaches my crush, and so on.
I’m secretly competitive, and jealous.
I don’t know how much of a secret that would be now.
I have no sympathy towards rivals, but I respect them.
Fair play is important when it comes to competitions.
Debtors
People who hurt me.
I tend to not avenge directly, I usually let the karma do its job.
Meanwhile, I wait for those who hurt me to pay back.
Sure, I do forgive, but it’s easier to forgive when someone gets their lesson.
I don’t really respect debtors, but I have sympathy for them.
I really hope they can learn from their mistakes and become better people.
You can guess what it takes to be an enemy. No respect, and no sympathy.
It’s really hard for me to get that far.
To be honest, it happened once. And lasted for about 5 minutes. Does it matter?
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Question of
Do you have enemies?
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Yes
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No
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I used to
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Question of
Do you share a similar view as mine?
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Yes
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No
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More or less
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I try to trust everyone and not hold a grudge, but if someone pisses me off I will teach them a lesson…
There are times it is difficult to forgive right away, and we feel the urge to avenge somehow, to move on. How do you usually teach lessons? What’s your strategy? ??
I generally hurt their feelings or say something insulting and indicate there is more where that came from. The idea is to get them reluctant to provoke me further…
And I bet it doesn’t work for everyone. ?
Some folks don’t know when they’re beaten…
You don’t have to do anything if someone else is hostile. Usually that is their problem I do try to find out why they are. Then sometimes those people are hostile to many others for no good reason.
Yes, I think that am my own worst enemy when I make a stupid mistake, but then it can be quickly resolved
I also try to find out why people are hostile. And yes, I completely agree, it’s their problem. Awareness makes at least half of the solution, it surely helps to know what we did wrong and fix it, if possible. ?
Maybe. I doubt negativity is created out of nowhere, we’re more likely to absorb it from others. Then we must make sure we have enough positivity to counterbalance the negativity we may face.
In fact, the enemy I had for 5 minutes was an ex, I lost it when he sent death wishes, but then I gained my lucidity back, and was still able to wish him a good life and good luck while he kept on saying “die, die”. ?
I guess you’ve been running low of the positive vibes needed to counterattack, because you dealt with so much negativity now it takes an extra effort to reach balance.
But you can do it. ?
Positive vibes somehow help with cleansing. I think you can’t truly ‘cleanse’ because scars won’t make you forget the wounds, but at least you’ll be able to forgive and move on.
It’s been a while, like a year ago. I’m fine now, he’s in a new relationship so I’m happy he’s busy elsewhere. ?
It’s slow, but at least you’re improving each and every day. A major positive event, or breakthrough, would be awesome, but we can’t have everything right away.
Just keep on staying positive, and patient. ?
Actually, I got back with the PM guy, that was a recent momentary break-up. I tried to ‘get rid’ of him, but I couldn’t. ?
My pleasure. ? I think you’ll improve faster as you go, and it might help to think more about yourself, doing what you like and taking care of your needs, more than relying on what other people do, because you can’t control them and you can’t let them be your source of happiness, anger or frustration.
Easier said than done, I know. ?
I believe that compassion can help me set a right attitude to others… an interesting post
Grudges can be very unhealthy, thank you. ?
I agree with you and now in a way that I am all alone, I am happy that I don’t have to worry about any enemies. I also don’t have enemies online as far as I can tell.
I agree with your opinion. I hope I have no enemies. I try to avoid negative people.
Thanks, and well done. ??
I like your attitude. I have been through many life issues and have learned that life it too short to have enemies and to allow others to dictate your attitude about your life. Forgiveness is a must.
Indeed, it’s wise to get rid of all toxic relationships, and emotions, if possible; it’s a waste of both time and energy we can’t afford in our life. ?
I think there is no person who does not have enemies, even if he does not know them!I prefer to ignore my enemies. There is someone above me who takes care of them! I’m rather careful not to become my own enemy!?
I agree, there will always be someone who hates just for the sake of hating.
But if we ignore them, these enemies somehow no longer exist. ?
Some fights and arguments within ourselves are fine, but yeah, we should always forgive and love ourselves, or we run the risk that nobody else will. ?