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Do not confuse love and affection

Affection gives rise to suffering, making us believe that we will forever preserve the subject of our desire or love. The reason is that we often mix love and affection. 

Many people perceive love as if it is almost always associated with the feeling of the owner: my child, my beloved belongs to me the same way as my scarf. And just as I expect the scarf to warm me, I expect my beloved or child to meet my requirements.

But this is not true love! In fact, in this case, love serves as a projection of our problems and a means of self-affirmation. Only when love is free from the restrictions imposed by our pride and selfishness, does it become impartial and disinterested and can accept all beings without distinction.

There is nothing wrong with human love – only through it our heart can open to the world, but we must try not to get into the networks of greed and jealousy, which ultimately destroy us and our relationship. The art of happiness consists of many terms. The achievement of happiness begins with an understanding of its true sources and the development of these sources in one’s life.

This requires internal discipline, a gradual process of eradicating negative mental states and replacing them with positive ones – kindness, tolerance, and the ability to forgive.

© Fortune, 2020

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