Come To Thailand – Get Trapped In A Tree

(a piece about Pattaya’s temporary expats)

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                                         khao phat thai – to be avoided by stodges and stooges

The books on Thailand tourism are numerous, and while everyone I know who has visited Thailand wouldn’t mind returning given half the chance, there is not that much literature explaining why so many men are “repeat offenders” when it comes to returning to Fun City, otherwise known as Pattaya. Thailand is full of interesting places and sights yet I know so many stodges and stooges who won’t budge from their barstools or repetitive relationships, to go travel. They turn up here in Pattaya for about three months, embrace the neon lights, drink themselves silly, alcoholise sex, have accidents, eat western food – never even going near a khao phat thai. Now, though there is nothing wrong with being attached to routine, it does seem strange that these unadventurous spirits land at the international airport, get to Pattaya in about two hours, and dive headfirst into repetition immediately. Call them sex tourists. Call them what you will. They won’t budge. They know that Thailand has national parks, I’m sure. They know the south is different from the north, I’m sure. They know the north-east “middle” is sort of the Isaan where you can meet Khun Poverty, that’s Mr. Poverty, but they just don’t get it.

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                    two tourists admiring the sight – stuck to a not-so-clean Pattaya seascape

So, come to Thailand. Come to Pattaya. Get stuck in a tree. Make the most of it. And remember to praise democracy and freedom. Look at the photo of that face in the tree. That’s you, mate.


What do you think?

Written by Jonathan Finch