jaylar
It was a long time ago.
Sometimes I can recall every second, sometimes I think I’m painting over the truth. Sometimes I stare in a mirror and wonder how I could be so stupid.
I can go day to day and not remember. I don’t always have to be drunk or high. Then it comes in on me and I call it ‘the day I killed myself’.
Oh the body is here, untouched. And there’s no hint of suicide. Not the kind you think. What I killed was my future, everything I loved, and all that remains of the Eve Samuels is the name, the job, even the apartment.
But I can tell you the exact minute I killed myself. I killed that Evie who could have been Mrs. Kelly Grey.
I can try to dress it in laudable ribbons and bells, cast myself as altruistic and worthy of praise,which in one sense, in the black and white sense, is true.
But in another, no.
And some we can’t learn from. Some are permanent
Life is some kind of trial and error… We all did “silly” things and learn from them…
And some we can’t learn from. Some are permanent
I had experienced the feeling of killing myself, not literally said. I tried my best to surpass those challenges in life.
some people make mistakes which destroy their lives.
It may happen. But then, we still need to control and find ways to deal with it. Whining a lot will not help us. c”,)
That is true. In this story it is a choice.
Sometimes we have to ”kill ourselves” in order to see the reborn and expand! The changes are always good, but the important is to believe, never give up and believe in yourself!
Sometimes the ‘self’ you believe in doesn’t exist.