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If you have no expectations, you will not be disappointed.
In Hope and disappointment I looked at how often we confuse hope with the illusion, we passively hope something happens and we do not take responsibility for our lives. And this only leads to frustration.
There is one more thing that leads to disappointment and turns us into a vicious circle.
These are our prior expectations and ideas.
Yes, they usually teach us that we should always expect the best, believe in the favorable outcome of things, be “tuned” for good and it will come.
Here, however, there is a slim moment.
It is true that we need to “see” our goal, to imagine as clearly as we want.
The problem is that we mentally compose a specific scenario where everything needs to be developed. And with this scenario we set ourselves by ourselves.
The more accurate and the bigger we have, the more we narrow our boundaries and the more we get disappointed.
We do not realize that as we expect things to happen in a specific way, we only increase the likelihood of missing other opportunities. We close ourselves for new roads.
And as Louise Hey says –
for every thing there is a total of possibilities.
Sometimes in our lives there are times when nothing happens as we want. Planning one, becoming another. It seems like everything is against us. We start to convince that the more we prepare for something, the greater the chance that everything will fail.
There is truth in the thought: “If you want to laugh at the Lord, tell him you have plans.”
But who is actually against us? The devil who does not have a job but to spoil our plans? Fate? Bad luck?
No. The one who is against us is ourselves. We are the ones we lay down. And when things always “fail”, life is actually trying to open our eyes and tells us:
“Hey, look around, look at what’s going on around you, do not set yourself up, look at what I’m sending you, take it.”
What makes us unhappy is the illusory image we create and we try to unify it with reality. It prevents us from seeing the good that exists in every situation.
I am convinced that when something does not happen as we want, there is a reason for it, and it is always good (as trivial as it sounds).
And while we blame others, fate, luck, we do not realize that the universe has actually made a gift to us, and we are returning it …
When I read Eva Wong’s “Taoism” I was impressed by a thought at the beginning of the book:
“When a person travels to unknown areas around the world, he has to get rid of his expectations.”
Share your opinion – is it possible to get rid of our preconceptions and enjoy every surprise that life brings us?
What would be our life if we can look at things that happen to us “purely” without being burdened by expectations?
Do you think life would then be an adventure?
© Elenka Smilenova 2018 – All Rights Reserved
Well, some people say that sometimes “Life Disappoints are God Appointments!” Sometimes its best we don’t always get our own way.
God sees the whole picture view. and yes we get disappointed because we had a pre conceived view of the outcome
We do need to dream and hope, we must be open to change and learn to see the outcome of reality from a different perspective.
Contentment is great gain.
Riches don’t always bring happinesss.
In my opinion, this is something that is always interesting to talk about. Unfortunately, it is always difficult to realize and be realized. I often say that the barrier between us and happiness is fear, expectation, and attachment. This time you have been peeling about expectations well. Life without expectations, it is like playing merrily on the sand beach while chasing or chased by waves.
If you stop expecting and lose hope, then you lose yourself.
I prefer life to flow like water, from the springs high up there, pass through so many things, and surely arrive in the ocean.
Great thoughts Elenka. As we age this becomes easier. I have changed so much from my 20 yr old self. So my answer is yes to the first question, and for the last as well.
This is Kim with age, we become wise men
Congrats for 100k Virilis. Way to go.
Thanks I did not see that I made 100,000.
We can learn a lot from this post. The message can speak in many ways, but for me it taught me never to expect things to go perfectly. but to get up and make my plans the best they can be.
There is no expectation of the ideal
Living purely in the moment could be fun, but it could also be reckless. In truth, I can’t imagine living without an expectation or projection of some sort. Rather, I think that for everything we do, we consciously or subconsciously measure probability i.e. Is this going to turn out the way I expect it to? And as far as situations where one’s expectations and desires are considered to be one and the same, I think the risk of disappointment doesn’t come from having the expectation in itself, it stems from not managing that expectation. In other words, we embark on exercises thinking the end result would only be one way and planning solely for that one way without carefully considering other outcomes.
I really liked your comment. Thanks.