How Pushy Parents Harm Their Children

Sometimes, as parents, we have a pre-conceived notion of what constitutes as success, and we force our children to live up to our interpretation of that word.

At other times, we try to live vicariously through our children and push them to succeed in areas in which we failed while we were young.

We might think that we have best interest of our children at heart but in truth if we are too pushy, critical and domineering, we might be harming our children.

I have witnessed parents who scold and berate their children in public for not performing up to their desired expectations in school contests.

Miffed by their child’s second or third position in a contest, they bicker and criticize the jury’s judgement while insisting that their child should have won.

Some parents argue endlessly with teachers and coaches over little matters and keep on questioning decisions going against their child. It is not uncommon to see some parents get into verbal – and even- physical fights with either referees, coaches or other parents at soccer and baseball games.

In most cases, children feel embarrassed by their parents’ aggressive demeanour, especially if it occurs openly in front of their class fellows and teachers.

In another scenario, this negative attitude teaches the children not to accept disappointment with grace. They learn to shift the blame on fellow team mates, teachers and coaches, and feel as if the whole world is involved in a giant conspiracy against them.

They do not learn to evaluate their own mistakes and performance with any degree of fairness. Parents must remember that the experience of participating and competing in an event, making new friends, and developing new skills are rewards enough as they enrich your child’s overall personality and personal growth.

How important do you think is winning or being at the top?