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Lightstar Blues 3 : “Don’t Take This Personally…”

June,1980  Gloucester, Massachusetts

I hadn’t seen Rachel in over a year. After she left for California she called me collect to say she was traveling to Europe with a girlfriend from Haight Street. I had just started working fulltime for the Massachusetts Department of Mental Health at its facility for the developmentally disabled in Hathorne. Travel wasn’t on my mind during this time frame that I was trying to figure what my long range goals were and make some money to get back out on my own. Mom and dad were very supportive of me as I worked long hour with the mentally handicapped and looked the other way as I disappeared for long hours of post work partying. When Rachel called I told her how much I missed her and asked when she’d be coming back to the states. As time went by our time together in Fall River seemed like a distant dream, and when she was in a location in London that I could write to her in, I said that, recalling in my letter her promise on a rainbow decorated letter, “I’ll love you even if there is no weather”.

I got a collect phonecall from Rachel in London…it was pretty early in the morning in Gloucester cause there’s a time difference. “Paul, I think you should know I’ve come out as a lesbian. Don’t take this personally but I hate men” The girl of my dreams was across the ocean pursuing the girl of her dreams. That kinda hurt.

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Written by PaulPallazola