Domestic Violence is a process, not an act. It goes from emotional to intellectual to spiritual to verbal to physical in a kind of pattern. Once one recognises the pattern, or that there is a pattern, the path to escape becomes clearer.
Bosses from Hell also operate by a particular ‘template’. They do nothing ‘on the spur of the moment’. They have a plan and procedures they MUST follow.
Abusers operation under self imposed rules. Often, the abuser will actually punish himself in the belief he is punishing his victim. As he must deny choice to his victim, he must always select the option anti the pro.
A Boss from Hell will lose money, respect, business, if it is in conflict with his ‘program’.
One can recognise an abuser before the abuse if one perceives how the proto-abusers lock themselves into a set of restrictions, rituals, the absence of spontaneity.
The person who says; “I only eat out on Friday,” after being invited on a Wednesday, or the person who has no flexibility and can not deal with anything out of ‘the grid’ is a likely Abuser.
Long before one is even in a relationship with such a person, if alert to the signs, one can protect themselves.
If one has ever been in an abusive relationship, be it with a parent, a spouse, a boss, and reflects on the actions, how the abuse was prepared, one will soon notice how the Abuser locks himself into a grid.