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Why Abusers Can’t Let Go of Their Victims

Whether it is an abusive spouse, parent or child, whether one lived a thousand miles away or next door, whether one had remarried, grown up, or can not longer be a physical victim, the abuser can’t let go.

Abusive husbands, whose wives have long gone and remarried, who are completely out of the circle, will still be contacted, whether by email, or phone calls, all appearing so innocent.

Abusive parents, whose children have moved away and are untouchable, will still encroach on the child’s life, even in the most innocuous ways.

Abusive children, long gone from the next, will make contact with the parents they have terrorised, performing various actions designed to hurt them.

An Abuser needs a victim. There must always be someone to be manipulated. In some cases, the abuser will satisfy with the most minor level of annoyance, because s/he can not feel whole without the victim.

When the victim escapes, another is often found. When victims run out, the abuser returns to the original and attempts, by various strategies to exert themselves.

In many cases the ex-victim is totally aware of the  performance and deals with it as desired. Some play along and answer the emails or phone calls, and share nothing. In some cases, the ex-victim become the ‘master’ of the abuser, as the abuser needs to connect with the ex-victim, even if he or she comes out the loser.

Abusers have serious problems, some, psychological, some social.

And many, never change.

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Written by jaylar

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