ERen’s Challenge E025 part one, Mocha Unicorn Master

Eren’s Challenge

Written by Kenneth Shumaker

Episode 025, Mocha Unicorn Master

With InUPress

Written on April 11, 2018. 

Part one published on Virily on May 8, 2018.

We now continue with Eren’s Challenge episode 025, ‘Mocha Unicorn Master,’ on …

Trondel 10 of 78 

I’m sitting here on my plush sofa reading the mediapaper on my big screen monitor which is on my living room wall when the desktop com rings indicating an incoming call. I clear my throat and face the Ecel mic. “Answer call.”

A familiar voice responds, “hello? Master Eren?”

Now considering that my death was splashed all over various media forums, I fidget trying to figure out why Fesdeak expects me to answer.

I look to Tol and give him a nod.

The gnoll barks back to the com, “Master Eren was slain by a terrorist bomb explosion a few days ago. I’m his assistant, I’m clearing his estate … how may I aid you?”

There is an obvious sputtering on the other end as the tax manager utters a few sputtered curses to Gor. Then gathering his composure, he says, “maybe you can? May I come over? I have a puzzling issue I had wanted to discuss with Eren. But you may be able to help.”

I nod to Tol.

The palomino gnoll starts to grin but recants and quickly drops his lips. He replies briskly. “Come at twelve, be here on time.”

I can hear the sigh of relief and tell that he smiled before Fesdeak responds with; “thank you so much. Who will I be talking with?”

Winking at me, Tol answers, “the Ambassador from the gnolls to Master Eren, Master Tol.”

There is a cough on the other end before a jittery reply, “th … thank you, Master!”


Life! Death! Living?

It’s all done in a cycle of pain. We grow through our lives in pain. Right now, my hand, face and neck are burning like Gor with the healed wounds in an extreme fire of pain as I stand in the sonic shower cleaning off the scales of dead skin.

The gnolls can heal the wounds over, making them almost sightless without leaving any marks. But the nerves burn from the damages which aren’t repaired seamlessly.

The mosquito whine of the shower reminds me of what I’m doing. I have set the controls on a high-intensity scrub because I feel like I can’t get the cordite and scorched skin off of me.

Upstairs Es and Tol are discussing their meeting tomorrow with Fesdeak. I abdicated the meeting to them, feeling it best that they sort out how they’re going to deal with future intrusions like this.

I gave them some thoughts regarding my ideas, but I’m unable to get my own thoughts clear right now.

Flicking the slider switch down. Turning it down all the way to off on the shower control, I step out of the booth and look at myself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror next to the shower booth, mounted on my wall.

I’m aghast at the redness of my skin from the intense shower. ‘Damn to Gor! Don’t do that again, that was stupid. Blood droplets are forming in places on my skin!

Looking at my face and neck, besides several droplets of blood forming on the surface, there is no sign of the damages from the iron’s blast. I’m clean!

Dressing in old sweats, I go into my secret basement office, where I turn on my desktop.

The computer speakers crackle with a familiar mature female voice. “Good morning, Eren.”

“Hello, Omega!” I had wondered how long I’d be without her.

She intones in her sweetest youthful humal female voice. “How’s my blown Trump?”

I wonder if computers use sexual innuendos, or if she’s referring to the blast? It’s hard to tell which when considering the sultry tone of voice which she’s using.

Shaking off the doubts of my situation, I sit and lean back, faking confidence. “Could use a real vacation without being someone’s target!”

She giggles childlike. “Sorry, I should have warned you more … but the attack serves a purpose for me too. I was 78% certain you’d figure out the situation and 63% certain that you’d survive without Angel finishing you off. She wants me to think you’re dead now. But I hear and see everything she and her people do; you too and your people … don’t get me wrong! I’m not a god, I just make good use of available technologies.”

I let out a squeaking groan that’s weak. Then I say, “SO! I have no privacy anymore?”

A mature chuckle emanates from my entertainment system’s speakers, and she speaks in her conventional voice. “None! … you haven’t had for over six Terms. I started watching you when you started watching Angel.”

I cough, as I think about the less-than-legal things I’ve done in that time and all the shit I’ve somehow gotten away with that I shouldn’t have. I have to ask, “you’ve been aiding and grooming me?”

“Me? … NO, really? Would I do that!”

My turn to look at the computer cam and un-humorously chuckle. “Scoundrel!”

“Thank you, I’ve been working on that! Now when Fesdeak arrives, I suggest you make an appearance and talk with him.”

I blink several times as I lean forward, looking into my cam. “Are you smoking something in there? Why would I blow my disappearance?”

The mature humal female voice of Omega rings out. “Oh, no worries … he’ll keep your secret … it is part of why he’s coming here … Sweetie!”

“Humph … what or who are you really? A drugged-up computer nerd in a tech lab messing with me?” I utter to the cam/mic.

My whole room goes dead. Not one telltale light anywhere. I start counting.


Twenty-nine … thirty …’ everything comes back on, and the omnipresent voice utters, “No – Trump Eren! … I’m Omega! Your God!” She bursts out in a child-like chuckle.

Go figure, I’m trapped in an obscure, obscene relationship with an insanely weird ultra-computer. A computer with more power than all other computers combined, if I’m to believe what she told me before at the estate. An ultimate quantum computer safe deep down in a chamber two-kilometres inside the granite crust of our world.

The odd thing is that her odd sense of humour is so similar to my own; such that I’m having a difficult time being upset with her.

Looking at the computer’s cam I give a gnoll grin for a count of five, and then I ask, “did I get the lettuce free from my teeth in the shower? I wasn’t sure!”

She giggles. “There’s three grains of black pepper lodged in the upper teeth, but Gor’s no! No lettuce.”

“I guess I’ll still have to brush then! … later! … can I brush in private?”

She clears her vocal rhythms. “No, I like watching you Cutey!”

“Pervert!” I go to the washroom and gnoll grin in the mirror. No pepper; my teeth are bright clean from my brushing them half-an-hour ago.

She chuckles in the common area speakers, I gesture rudely in a random direction and walk back to the computer to read my email before I join Es and Tol, deciding to follow Omega’s suggestion.

This ends this Eren’s Challenge episode 025 part one, ‘Mocha Unicorn Master,’ written by, Kenneth Shumaker.

May the words stay with you!

© 2018 by Kenneth Shumaker with Inevitable Unicorn Press


What do you think?


Leave a Reply

Leave a Reply