Co-Parenting!

Deesha Philyaw and Michael Thomas introduced three very interesting co-parenting styles. It seems like the message has gone out that co-parenting is essential. These particular styles are based on how the parents relate to each other, which then reflects on the children.

Co-parenting begins when the family separates and there are two different living environments (homes). Rules become blurred, children are often confused and many parents struggle with their new identity as co-parents.

Lets begin with the worse case scenario “Oil and Water”. 

Oil and water don’t mix well. Their relationship is toxic and is showcased by things like mistrust, competitiveness, conflicts and miscommunication. 

Clearly this is a horrible experience for the children involved. 

Next on the list is “business partners”. These parents have solid rules, ridgid schedules and basic civility. It helps them take the emotion out of the coparenting. The parents don’t have to converse much, the rules and times are all on paper. 

It is not perfect and yet it creates structure and works for many.

The final category is Super Friends. These co-parents are flexible, have low conflict, open communication and are very congenial.

While this is ideal for the children there is one major concern. The parents seem to get along so well the children may be confused and believe the parents will not remain divorced and the family will be what it once was.

Co-parenting is not easy. There are reasons the parents divorced. Often US courts require co parenting classes.