Once long ago, I watched an old movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio. (What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, a 1993 movie.)
After the first 5 minutes, I realized that it would be uninteresting, but I was hoping for something and I continued to watch it … And at one moment, unexpectedly, a life-changing understanding came. What I realized I had heard, read and experienced a number of times, but I did not apply it in practice.
The movie showed a family living in their daily routine and spending quite a bit of time between morning and evening… watching their routine, I saw myself in my routine. My routine was trying to be happier.
I noticed how many things I associate with my happiness. It seemed that if life goes the way I want it to, only then I will really be happy, and so I try to control or protect it somehow. Looking for happiness on the outside is frustrating and brings a lot of inner pain.
With this in mind, I decided that I no longer wanted to connect my happiness to external factors. Have you noticed it? We usually want something because we think we will be happy with it…
We want a loved one to do what we think is right (as if he doesn’t understand anything himself, we want more sun, new car, more money, nicer clothes, more holidays … Because we think that fulfilled our dreams, we will be happy.What an illusion of mind! When we bind our happiness to the outside, we become dependent on it, then internal tensions, dissatisfaction, anger, fears, stress, confusion arise…
I am not saying you should not try to achieve your goals. Rather, I am only for a purposeful, meaningful and comfortable life. But when we are happy here and now, even before we reach our goal, that pursuit becomes more enjoyable, our jobs get easier and faster, we relax, we get more playfulness, improvisation, creativity, self-confidence, self-awareness.
© Fortune, 2020
Our happiness is not connected with external factors, agree?