DocAndersen
I got a great email after the last communication anti-pattern I posted, not the usual question from the reader, a new one. Normally the reader who emailed me, says is that one about me? But this time he asked “interesting, how do you avoid that type of interaction.” The interaction in question is the one where the person announces they are right. Communication is a two-way street; there are different positions and thoughts involved in the conversation, always!
The easy solution is to ignore the person if you can. Don’t interact with him if that is possible. When it is online, you can do that. If it is someone in your office, neighborhood or at the Gym, it is a little harder to ignore them. At that point, you drop into the polite mode. The polite mode is where you compliment them for nice things they do, like what they contribute but you do not do more than that. You stop engaging the baiting.
Now, I wish I could say I am a master at doing this. I am not. I fail often, and sometimes I let people get under my skin. I let someone bait me recently, and I felt stupid for that right away. I have to fit into my perception of the world around me. I also have to acknowledge that I fall prey to this. The easy answer I gave my long time reader was ignored the person if you can, kill them with kindness if you can’t. I stand by that advice, and I am going to work hard to live up to it!
In terms of annoying people, your advice on coping skills reminds me of a librarian I once knew, who used to ask top lawyers “Verstaan jy?” (I.e. Do you understand?). I used to cringe every time I heard that…
That one is a tough one, i actually published a pattern/anti-pattern about that a few years ago. I called it the smartest person in the room syndrome.
This reminds me of an old saying…. It doesn’t matter what others think of you, it is none fo your business!
Typo… “None of your business”.
in the midwest people always said “it is none of your beeswax!”