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The incongruity of being me.

You may think I’m out of my bowl or the dosage was doubled but, I do other things besides environmental, cultural and nonsensical, nautical rhyme.

I sell beads…grin.

I also guide fishers, hunters, hikers, snowshoers, photographers and wild foodies. A sample of my most recent study…

The ubiquitous “Indian pipe”, Ghost Plant” or “Dutchmans’ Britches”. Known in botanical circles as Monoflora Unitropa. He/she is neither plant nor fungus but, a psuedo-parasite. Obtaining it’s nutrition from roots of particular trees, it does not conduct photosynthesis. Therefore it’s a ghastly, translucent pale shade. Upon fertilization the female flowers will turn a pink hue.

I have studied these little horticultural anomalies for two years trying to glean enough data to actually try them, as they have been known to Native Americans as medicinal and some research indicates a suitable alternative to Americas’ current Opioid issue. It would seem they have the potential to be a natural, non addictive morphine substitute.

Sadly, my first actual taste, (Thursday), was experiment halting. They taste like camphor and sweet fern leaves. YUCK! I could only muster 3 chews before purging, somewhat involuntarily…whew!

Raw Mudbug and Peyote buttons taste better. Nonetheless, I took diligent notes and found, almost immediately, a tingling numbness reminiscent of oil of clove or novacaine.

No, sorry, no hallucinations or euphoria.

I’ll have to try a tea, extract or tincture because, damn!, you’d have to really be injured to eat one!

More when I have it,

Phlex Sphincter

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Written by Beada Beada

Years Of MembershipStory MakerUp/Down Voter

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