Later that day, at home, watching television I reflected on my life. It wasn’t a totally bad thing, my unrequited love for Shaun. It prevented dates and hookups and time wasters and various mistakes.
Now, it was time to move out of the ‘cave’. I had to destroy the feelings I had for Shaun.
It’s one thing for my mouth or brain to make a decision, but my heart needed to be cleansed. I needed to expel the love I had for Shaun…change its name to what it really was; fixation.
Just as I had considered the girl who was in love with Rock Stars she’ll never meet, so was I.
No need to tell Shaun how I felt, because I wasn’t going to feel that way, I didn’t feel that way.
Maybe I was lying to myself, but right now, I couldn’t love someone so stupid. Nor could I love myself if I continued to be that stupid.
Shaun had chance after chance to open his eyes and see me. I had chance after chance to see other people, but stupidly, let them go.
How could I love myself, have pride in myself, if I was running behind a man who was running behind a selfish self centered narcissist like Laurie? If he couldn’t see it, then what about me?
Thank you for sharing this post. A good mate will love you with all of his heart and soul.
yes, and there are persons one falls in love with who don’t know that one is alive.
Sad to say but true.