When Shaun left me in the study room,to go outside to cry over Laurie, I felt myself tear up. It may have been partly for the ‘poor guy’. But as I sat there, it moved from empathy to anger.
How could he continue to love someone who didn’t know he existed?
As I packed my things and rose to leave, it struck me; How could I continue to love someone who didn’t know I existed?
All these years, looking at Shaun with a flavour of contempt because he threw his love away, I should be looking in a mirror.
I came out of the study room, down the steps, out into the day, looking around the campus, for soon I would be gone.
Soon, I would graduate and go on to a Master’s Program elsewhere. As if I had been here.
I had wasted my life, my time, throwing my love, my focus, on a man who didn’t know I was alive.