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Eren’s Challenge, E004, ‘Year’s Aqua Ass’

Year’s Aqua Ass

Eren’s Challenge

By Kenneth Shumaker

Episode 004

With InUPress

July 26, 2017

Eren’s Challenge


In Kenneth Shumaker’s Eren’s Challenge, we enter the world of the robotics research technician, a mature human male, Eren. During Eren’s 5th Galaxy Palcard sector journey, he encounters hazards with his friend, Esmelda, the mature human female who is an ambassador’s administrative assistant. The pair struggle with adventures and dramatic developments while in the metropolitan industrial trade city of Goral, on the planet of the Krenar. Here, they fight with bureaucrats and the Hean priestly hierarchy.

In the Previous episode 003, ‘Golden Company Hour’ …

As we watch Eren and Es, we discover the alien the yellow gnoll, Angel. We witness Eren’s fear of the gnoll, yet Es’ lack of fear of the unknown.

We continue with episode 004, ‘Year’s Aqua Ass’ on …

Lezmor 1 of RD 78

The day ends stormy in many ways as Tairence drives Es and I home to my place. The coastal gales are blowing in, wracking the whole northeast coast with 126 kilometre-an-hour winds. And, in the past three hours, several centimetres of torrential rain have fallen. The hyper-storm begins along the beach on Guer Street’s north end.

Es is no better as she leaves me, in a huff as soon as the two enforcers let her out of their car. She doesn’t say one word to me or even offer a peck on the cheek.

I can’t figure her out. She wanted to accompany me on this summons, but now she’s acting like she is angry, and she won’t say what’s wrong.

As she drives away in her Frenza Sports Coupe, I enter my house and lock the door behind me. It must be nice to have a great job that pays well and be able to flaunt it.

Walking upstairs, I strip out of the sweat soaked synth-suit. Stripping the gear off the suit, I place the suit in my special sonic shower to clean out the grime. The sonic shower is an exotic beauty; it takes odours and stains of every kind out without using any chemical detergents. Items come out odourless with no chance of genetic material imprinting being left behind on the item.

Hungrier than an Arctic omnivore, I head to my kitchen to cook the evening meal, four hours late. I chuckle, thinking that this job might be worth it if I can pull it off.

Pulling out a flash thawed chicken breast and a piece of cooked ham, I begin preparing a Chicken Juires, happy to be in my kitchen preparing a gourmet meal.


I finish roasting the Chicken Juires, and I’m pulling it out from the oven when in walks none other than a slinkily dressed Es. She’s wearing a red Arour tight form-fitting ankle-length dress with Goral blood-red pumps. The ensemble is topped off with a Laroura rose-pattern-on- black-background sleeveless vest. She’s carrying with her a medium sized overnight case, no less.

She nonchalantly drops her key card on the hallway side table, and she springs her plan on me, saying, “I figured that if we’re going to work on this Havar case together, I might use one of your rooms tonight.”

Without thinking, I say, “Like mine, in with me?”

She stops in her tracks and looks me in the eyes. Grinning, she asks, “Is that an invite?”

Reddening deeper than an overripe strawberry, I nod. Es turns to look at my supper and licks her lips. “I accept, if you share supper and if it’s good.”

I am disheartened on two counts: one, I’m damn hungry and don’t want to share my supper; two, I’m not sure she’ll like my supper, especially the fried scallop potatoes and my homemade creamed corn. Though, I think that the chicken dish will be a winner. But the rest? My mouth’s been watering for half-an-hour over the chicken. However, for a win in this social engagement, I’ll share.


Sitting with me at my office desk, Es is marvelling at my tech. “I’ve never been up here, Eren … and all of this is better than the Ambassador’s equipment. What did you say you do for a living?”

Grinning, I key in on the light-board my illicit website, bringing it up. The site is advertising my not-so-legal services, boasting me as a solver of issues against underground types, such as criminal organizations and undercover government organizations, illegal corporations, and thugs in general.

Turning to her, I say, “I solve problems, for a high price. That’s what I really do. But my day job – the one that I’m legitimately known for – is as a robotics research tech manager. Which reminds me: I have to work out a project program schedule solution by morning. I need two hours to finish that and save it to my secure data stick. I had the new project plan already set up before the robot we were working on failed. I was confident the robotics test would fail, given the condition we were working under and the parameters of the project that we were given. I know I can make the project work with twice the budget we were given, but they’re going to demand I do it with half the current budget. The project will fail, but the project is intended as a tax write-off for the aqua asses on the beach-front resort estates. They don’t give a shit about the project’s workers, or really about the project. They have a budgeted loss goal set for their books, and that’s what I get to spend …. so, I will.”

Laughing, Es then asks, “You have everything figured out? Even me?”

Sighing deeply, I look into her eyes and honestly reply, “You, I have no clue about. You’re my weak point.”

She leans over and kisses my lips, and then leaning back, she responds, “I’ll take that as a compliment, sweety. I think I’ll nick you … Aqua Ass.” We both burst out laughing. I have no idea why, but it strikes me as hilarious that she’s nicked me after my research work nemesis.

Looking at the screen, Jill finally spies her report in the green lighting of text and images. It’s a simple report on Havar, reading: Gov restricted files. Classified Level Five Security access only.

This has become a true challenge now, as the hardest security level that Jane and I’ve cracked so far was a level four, and that was a bitch. It took me six-days of coding and Jane three days of cracking their codes through a hack I built.

Turning to Es, I say, “We’re not getting info on him this way, through Gov files. Any ideas?”

She grins as she keys her wrist-com, saying, “I know a journalist who snoops on a lot of people. Perhaps he knows, or has a contact who knows.”

Laughing, I nod and wait as she talks into her wristcom to some guy named Everest.

By, Kenneth Shumaker

To be continued in Episode 005, ‘Miner’s Blackened Bart’ …

Finding the journalist is easy, making sense of their tabloid talk is shitty. But meeting them at the Blackened Bart is even sketchier.

© 2017 by Kenneth Shumaker with Inevitable Unicorn Press

We would like to acknowledge the following for their contributions:

Our author is Kenneth Shumaker.

Our graphics are by Kenneth Shumaker.

Editing is by Donna Shumaker.

The distribution, marketing, production, promotions, and publishing are by Inevitable Unicorn Press, also known as InUPress.

Let us know what you think of Eren’s Challenge by going to

Thank you for reading Eren’s Challenge

Yours, Kenneth Shumaker with Inevitable Unicorn Press.


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