Bonnie and Clyde Remake 2017

Friday, August 11, 2017

I woke up in the morning to feed Gumby before I take out the trash because Friday is trash day. I suddenly noticed weird bugs around the second Hold & Release trap. I tried to look through the blue plastic box to see what was inside, and it looked like there was a small dead mouse, similar to the other Hold & Release trap that I threw out earlier. So, this Hold & Release Trap didn’t work out like it was supposed to because I thought it was just going to trap it inside, and then I will take it outside somewhere and release it in some bush. I wasn’t even aware that the trap caught any mice. Every time I checked, it looked empty and clean. And, then all of the sudden, I checked it and noticed lots of weird and gross bugs around it, and there was a dead mouse inside. I thought the mouse was supposed to make some annoying squeaky mouse noises to inform me that the trap caught something so that I could release it outside. I didn’t want to kill these cute but annoying mice. That is Gumby’s job. I feel like a murderer. I killed two mice with two Hold & Release Traps. I have turned into Gumby, but Gumby is a conspiracy murderer because he strategically plans it out ahead of time.

So far, seven mice were killed in my townhouse. Gumby intentionally killed five, while I accidentally killed two with two Hold & Release Traps. Below is a photograph of a human trap…

Gumby and I are the new Bonnie and Clyde of 2017. Since I am a Leo, I have cat traits, although I am a vegan and modern cat, and I was hoping to capture them alive and release them outside. But Gumby is the mastermind killer behind all the crime sprees, while I am just the instigator who sets up the bait but not intending to kill.  He does all the dirty work.

Starring Fifi Leigh in a gray sleek catsuit costume as Bonnie…

And, introducing Gumby in an elf undercover costume as Clyde….

And, I hope that all of the rest escape through the same way that they entered my townhouse. I am tired of these murders. It is enough to clean up the dead bodies that Gumby kills, but I am now accidentally killing mice. Or, maybe I should consider working for the Illuminati as a CIA assassin. I can be the new thug selling drugs, unintentionally killing certain people that the Illuminati and Zionist media wants to be eliminated. I can accidentally trap whomever in a huge Hold & Release human trap, and if I am not aware it caught anyone, the victim will eventually die inside with worms crawling all over the box.  At least, the Illuminati will pay me a lot of money for doing their dirty work, and they will probably pay Gumby more money because he is more strategic in conspiracy murders. These crime sprees are said to take place inside my two-story townhouse.

You might also see these criminals in a different disguise.

And, Gumby will mostly likely appear like a cute, sweet, photogenic, loving, and a normal cat. But he is actually a smooth talker. Don’t trust him! He is an actor and model, in which are code names for the biggest liar. And, he is better than most actors because he is actually cute and likable without any plastic surgeries or makeover.

Now, let’s take five minutes of silence for the deceased mice. RIP 7 mice. I didn’t want to kill any mouse. But the cat did.