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You Are Just Mean!

Oh my goodness! It is only 5:23 am and I have been told I am just mean! I guess it could be accurate. I am feeling a little surly.  I was working with someone who apparently needed to yell and it was hurting my ears. So I simply took off the headset and went moved the clothes from the washer to the dryer. I put a pot of coffee on. I could still hear the yelling. So I started packing my bags. (I have to take a medical leave in a little over a week and I am trying to prepare.)

Finally there was a quiet moment. I picked up the headset and said “Do you feel better?” 

“Did you hear what I said?”

“No, when you kept screaming and yelling after I told you that you were hurting my ears, I did some other projects. I am hopeful that you were able to get some of the anger out.”

He replied, “It’s your job to listen to me scream. It was just plain mean not to listen.”

“I will be happy to listen to any concerns you have and answer any questions when you are not screaming. Screaming truly hurts my ears and I don’t deal with it. I go somewhere quiet. Perhaps you could send me an email with all your concerns and I can address them.”

“I already yelled them.”

“Probably so. I will be happy to meet with at another time if you want to talk about your concerns without screaming. I will be happy to reply to an email of your concerns. I will be happy to contact someone else in the company to address those concerns. Those are the only solutions that I have for you this morning.”

He screamed “I hate you. You are just mean.”

I said “Good to know. Will any of those solutions work for you?”

“You need to stop being mean and dismissive.” and then he disconnected.

  • Do you handle screaming well?

    • Yes
    • No
  • Should I send him the rock that he was trying to buy or forget it?

    • Yes
    • No
  • Is there a time when just walking away in the right choice?

    • Yes
    • No

What do you think?

7 points

Written by Ghostwriter



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  1. What a great (unpleasant but great) example of why we don’t treat people poorly ever. Remember the human is so critical.

    If you only say negative to someone, and never stop and make sure they are ok, they have every right to disconnect.

  2. You reap what you sow. If you yell at me, I will yell back. I can’t control it.
    And of course, I find it to be annoying.
    When you get angry you can say things such as “you’re mean”, it’s normal. When I’m angry, I can say even worse. That’s why I prefer to go somewhere else, like you did.
    I don’t think you were mean, by the way.
    Perhaps clarification was needed. He might have taken your request to not yell as lack of interest from your side, while he couldn’t see how much of a big deal it was to you.
    Hopefully you’ll both forget of this and move on. ?

  3. Hmm… I won’t send the rock or stuff unless he confirms it.
    I guess its right to walk away … anyway, even if you stayed, you probably can’t hear much from the yelling!
    I don’t get why someone should listen to someone else scream … complain, whine, nasty(depends) maybe, but scream? No

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