Ghostwriter
I am truly grateful for my doctor. This morning she stopped by very early because she knows I am up very early. She made me write down all the things that had happened in my life since Christmas. The list was quite daunting. Two deaths in my family, I made it through a bought of COVID 19. My entire job changed and I am adjusting and learning new skills that are completely out of my scope. We are waiting for the call every for my Bro to have heart surgery. (I won’t bother with the whole list.)
Then she said. “You are not doing well physically because I believe you have simply given up. I don’t believe that you are trying every day to eat right, have a good attitude, and celebrate every little happy thing that goes right. I want you to take a day and do that and it needs to be today. If things don’t change quickly you will fall into a deep depression and you will never come out.”
I cried. “Am I that bad?”
“Yes, you are that bad and you are not going to make it if this continues.”
I am nervous. I am agitated and I guess it all needed to be said and something has to change. That something is me. I am not sure where to begin, but it’s clear I have to take some steps today. (I really don’t want her showing up tomorrow at 3:00 am.
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Question of
Has your doctor ever given you a wake up call?
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Yes
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No
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Question of
Is it really now or never?
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Yes
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No
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You have to find a way to be happy with yourself. If you can love yourself then you can take steps to make things easier. I am all alone but I have my best friends me myself and I and I have learned to control myself. My work, my music, and even things that make me laugh or smile each day and it is working out for me. Right now Freddie from Queen is telling me these are the days from our lives and I can smile.
I wish I could see more solutions. I am overwhelmed.
i saw yes and no
i think you have to find a way to be happy with you.
Oh Ghost, I’m sorry to read this. You need to listen to your Doctor and ask her for help. She will. Life is very difficult at the moment, and you clearly have a very good Doctor who is willing to help you. And of course you have a lot of people here on Virily that think very highly of you and love reading your posts. I really admire you for speaking out like this, and want you to look after yourself. Please take care.
Oh my! Is that a message that the only answer that posted for the second question was yes. I am a little terrified now.
Both yes and no are there now.
Keep pushing through. I am still here. You can do this.