Ghostwriter
It’s always a good day when I learn something new. Today someone told me I was always catastrophizing. I had no idea if I should be pleased with their assessment or disappointed. So I decided to learn a little more about the word and see what it meant in the context of our conversation.
I had been out to do some work on a headstone and a stranger asked what I was doing. I explained that I was touching up the engraving. He asked why and I said I wanted it to look nice for my family when they came to visit the grave.
He asked who would take care of my headstone. I said quietly “It won’t be a problem.” (I thought that was a nice way to say I was done talking.)
“What do you mean.”
“I am not having the same kind of burial.”
He replied “Why are you catastrophizing?”
I said “Didn’t know I was, and have a great day.” I turned my back to him and continued with my chore. He said in a rather loud voice “People like you are always catastrophizing.”
When I got home I looked it up to see if he had some uncanny knowledge of me and was right or if he was a huge assumption.
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Question of
Do you know what the word means?
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Yes
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No
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Question of
Would you have asked the stranger more questions?
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Yes
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No
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Question of
Can you share what you think makes a person seem approable?
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Yes
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No
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Question of
Do things like this happen to people ohter than me?
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Yes
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No
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I am asking this asking this out of respect. what makes you qualified?
Some of my degrees are in psychology, Bee Happy. I do hope that person does not bother you again.
Yay, here is a question I am actually qualified to handle. You were approachable because you listened to him. Because you were obviously trying to be polite, he perceived that as weakness and chose to use you to work out his own frustrations. That is not rational behavior, So here you have an irrational stranger who didn’t even know you accusing you of being irrational. In psychology that is called projection. Projection is a defense mechanism people use subconsciously to try to help themselves deal with their own problems. Instead of admitting that he himself was catastrophizing, he projected that onto you. This was all about him and had nothing to do with you.
Thank you so much for this. It was the perfect day for me to read it again.