Today it’s hitting hard and I am not sure why. It’s almost like a storm is raging to prepare me for something even harder. I guess I have never felt more fear than I have in the last few years. I suppose you simply carry it with you and it grows over time. I can’t explain why I am crying. I can’t describe my feelings. I can’t expect anyone to understand, everyone has there own bag or rocks they have to haul around.
I think the part of me that I thought was different or special in any way is gone. I don’t want to face another tough day. I don’t believe there are good days ahead.
My heart and mind are dark.