Yes, I am aware that he is an old man, but he’s grounded. He can’t get on Virily for a week. I really don’t need any more arguments or stress. This was once a place that I thought was a safe haven. That’s come and gone several times and today he got all charged up again.
He asked why someone told me not to visit or comments on their posts. I said, “It really doesn’t matter. The person said that I shouldn’t view his work any longer and I have honored his request. You are not a member here, you are my husband. I don’t think anyone here cares if you read it or not. Very few even know that you are often here reading with me or I leave it up so you can read, just not signed in. You can’t leave a comment or hurt them in any way.”
“Well I think you should go back and read it.”
” I was asked not to and I will not.”
He just got frustrated and stomped away and I changed the password to open the computer. He’s really grounded. He came back later and tried to get into the computer. I reminded him that I had grounded him from the computer. He just wanted to play solitaire he said. I gave him a deck of cards.
It could be that recent things have caused me to be harsher. I tend to react rather quickly. I don’t go back and ponder as much as I used to. I am more apt to say “it what it is and walk away”. That may or may not be a good thing, and today I really noticed that it has been a definite change. I probably need to talk to him about it, but not today.
As I was typing this my sister called. I cannot go to visit my brother. I want to see him, but I guess that may not ever be able to happen again. I don’t remember if I told him that I loved him before he was taken to the hospital.
I guess I have some thinking to do and I can feel the tears coming on. It’s a good time to take my emotions and crawl back into the darkness.
Enjoy the peace and quiet.