You are hitting thirty-two wondering why you are still single. Your high school classmates are married. It seems everybody is married except you. You ask yourself a lot of questions why you are not yet married. You are thinking something is not right with you. You are wondering how it is possible to be single at such an age when during your teen years you had purposed to get married before reaching at the age of thirty.
There are many reasons why people decide to remain single. Some of the reasons why people decide to remain single appear strange. Some of the reasons do appear weird but not necessarily all of them. Nonetheless, every person has different expectations in life. While some expectations appear to align with each other, it doesn’t necessarily mean people are heading in the same direction. The following are some of the reasons why people are still single especially in their late twenties up forth.
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1. High Expectations
Some people set high standards for their preferred-perfect mate. While it is good to come up with such standards, if you set unattainable standards you will wait for the perfect man till death signals you to follow it. You should adjust your standards because the perfect person you’ve in mind can only be found in your imagination, in romance books and movies. This doesn’t mean you need to marry anyone who approaches you or you approach any person. You should be selective. However, don’t be too selective to the point you will not lower a little. For instance, if one of your expectations is to be married by a tall man, my friend, you will wait for a long time until you meet one. If you happen to meet a tall man, he might not meet your other expectations.
2. Your Attitude
If your attitude(s) appear offensive to another person, the likelihood of that person dating you is slim. Even though it’s true we are not perfect, we should aim to become better humans. As an individual, you should strive to get rid of negative behaviors and/or attitudes you exhibit including the choice of words you use. If the good in you exceeds the worst in you, your chance of entering the world of the married is highly probable.
3. You Are Beyond Reach
If you are one of those people who look as if it’s hard to approach, you will have secret admirers but none coming close to ask you for a date. In this time and age we’re living, we have to be cautious of who to approach or who to approach us. The world is full of liars and deceivers therefore we should be watchful not to be trapped in their selfish purposes. In spite of this, you should have an open mind of not being too critical – judgmental. You should have an open curiosity from which you can make out whether you should go ahead and strike a relationship with that person or not. But, if you always dismiss people with a flick of your finger, then you will never end on a marriage bed. If you are regarded by people as an iron lady or man who is hard to approach and date, then you’ll end up in their list as someone who is difficult to engage in a meaningful relationship.
4. You Are Defensive
Breakups hurt. It is very hard to believe a relationship can come to an end. After the breakup, you do whatever you can to ensure nobody hurts you. This is particularly the case with people who have undergone several breakups. You feel you’re giving people the leeway to hurt you then leave you in the darkest corner. You put up defensive mechanisms to ensure no one will hurt you again. The fact is we can’t avoid the possibility that we can never be hurt. It is part of life. It is not so much a matter of being hurt, but how you react to the hurt. Therefore, should you drop your defensive mechanisms? Yes, you should. You should learn how to react when hurt even though it’s too painful. Even in near-to-perfect relationships hurt is inevitable because some of them are deliberate.
5. Differentiating Facts from Myths
You have read, heard and seen and you’ve already drawn up your conclusion as to the matter of having a family of your own. The high rate of divorces, separations and breakups experienced worldwide, coupled with challenges faced in marriages have convinced you that you’re better off on your own. But, it is worth noting it is not all married people who end up divorced or separated. Challenges are part of married life as is the case with single life. There are better reasons to be single and there are better reasons to be married. None far outweighs the other. If you’re asking yourself the reason you’re not yet married, find out whether you’re are afraid to face the challenges that are too common in marriages. Again, sit down and find out the reasons why marriages are faced with hurdles and what can be done to solve such difficulties. Don’t run away from a marriage because of the challenges faced therein. You need to search and digest as much information as you can about marriages so you can be well-informed. This will enable you to be armed with knowledge on what to expect when you dive into the world of the married.
6. Job Pressure and Career
If you are one of the unlucky people who have to work almost all the days of the week, it follows that you’ll be disadvantaged to get to know a lot of people. If you’re working from morning to evening, six days a week, then the chances of striking a long-term friendship which leads to a relationship and ultimately marriage will be very slim. Even if you have a boyfriend, but you’re too busy even to talk to him won’t put you on a good stand of maintaining the relationship. Communication is paramount in relationships. If it lacks in the relationship, then the other person will feel you no longer value or are interested in him/her. If you have set your sight in fulfilling your goals and reaching where you want, then it is very hard for you to concentrate on the possibility of getting married. All your energy is geared in accomplishing the goals you’ve set for yourself of which marriage isn’t in your list of things to get done. If you’re too focused in your career or the job you’re doing, then the possibility of becoming a hubby or wife is very slim.