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10 Great Reasons to Marry a Redneck

You can say whatever you like about their culture, and you would probably be right, but there are some very distinctive advantages to choosing a redneck groom. Don’t believe me? Well, check this out.

You will always be entertained

Redneck men are funny. They believe they can do anything if they just have three things. (It is important to note that not all redneck men need the same three things.) However, at least one of these items is sure to be on his list for “fixin’” what needs to be fixed. Duct tape, bailing wire, a hammer, a bigger hammer, leatherman, and a six pack. See, you are thinking this could be entertaining to watch.

You will always know what to get him for holidays

Rednecks are pretty simple happy men. If you wrap, or put a bow on any of these items, even if he already has 100 of them, you are good to go. Ammo, camouflage anything, duct tape, bailing wire, beer, a picture of his mama, a new remote control, pocket knife, fishing line, more ammo and a place to hang is trophies.

You can always go on vacation with the girls

It doesn’t matter what time of year it is: there is something he can hunt, fish, stalk or watch. You just make sure he has some supplies and tell him to go to it. He won’t even ask any questions. Just say “Honey, why don’t you do a little of that hunting, fishing and muddy truck driving.”

You will never be short on money

It’s true and I am willing to share the secret. They don’t look like they have money, but you have just not found the stash yet. It’s hidden there somewhere just waiting for that day when they have to buy a tank to get the biggest deer they have ever seen. (You can’t make this kind of stuff up) Find the stash.

You will have happy children and grandchildren

I nearly fainted when I looked out the window and saw Grandpa on his John Deere riding lawn mower, pulling the grandsons around the yard in an Amazon Prime Box. Those boxes are amazingly strong!

The Sheriff stopped by to ask if was safe. “Well sir, they’s havin’ such a good time I reckon if they die, they will die happy.”

The older of the two boys simply said two things. “We can’t tell my Mom about this and I can’t wait to tell my friends, because no one else got to do this on summer vacation.”

You can have your wedding at hunting camp

Nothing like a camouflage dress, cowboy boots and people who really do want to be your friends and are willing to join you for that wedding.

Rednecks know that no means no 

They’ve been taught and slapped upside the head enough by their Mamma and Meema to know better than to ask twice.

You can always buy “perty” stuff

Redneck men seem to know that women are happier if they can buy that “perty”stuff they like so much. Every redneck man knows that a happy wife is a happy life.

Junk has a whole new meaning

Someday there will be some picker that shows up when he is out fishing or hunting and you will make a killing on the junk those men will pay for that has been laying around just waiting for the right circumstances. Cha -ching!

You have an excuse for everything

All you have to do if someone questions any of your actions, thoughts, choice of clothes is say “I’d like you to meet my husband.”

Ya’ll come back now, ya hear!

(Posted with Permission from Virily)

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Written by Ghostwriter

 

 

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