I visit the grave of my mother quite often. I would rather always do it alone. I don’t enjoy others asking why am I crying or why am I not crying. I know that no one can understand the relationship I had with my Mom except the two of us. I don’t like to see her great grandchilden walking on her headstone and it doesn’t seem to bother their parents at all. I don’t feel like I belong to that family. So I can hear someone saying “Then why do you do it?”
Simply because my brother wants to go and he can’t drive himself. My sister and her children never go and I don’t blame them. My other brother I haven’t spoken to in years. He called me last year to tell me he was upset with me. I just told him I was done.
So I will go and talk to no one and not really participate. It will make the brother I live with unhappy that I don’t converse. I will have to remind him that they call complain if I converse. He will complain the entire hour and a half on the way home about how awful I am and all about my driving as well. It would be best for all if I didn’t go. There is no one to take him so I will endure this day. I keep hoping this will be the last time I have to go, but so far no such luck.