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It is a beautiful day here. The sky is bright blue. The sun is shining. There is over three foot of snow that is pristine and white. I was standing at the window looking out and enjoying the view. Then something caught my eye. Under one of the trees it looked like the snow was slowly moving. I couldn’t tell what was moving  and it was creepy.

So I put on my snow pants, loaded the 22 and went out trudging through the snow. A porcupine had fallen out of the tree and he was slowly crawling in the wrong direction. Here were my thoughts. “Well, if I shoot him I have to eat him and I really don’t know how to process a porcupine. I hate quills. They hurt. If I shoot it for a mercury killing I have to remove the bullet so the eagles won’t end up with problems from eating the carcass and meat. I hate quills. They hurt. I could just leave and go back in the house and let nature take its course, but starving to death or freezing to death isn’t good and I know there is a problem.”

I went back in the house and called the Division of Wildlife Services. I normally talk to Dan, but someone else answered the phone.  I explained the situation in one short term. “Could you please come remove a porcupine from my yard?”

“Why don’t you just shoot it?”

“Is Dan there?”

“No, he’s out in the truck, why?”

“Could you radio him and tell him that Trenna called and said a porcupine fell out of the tree and is still alive?”

“Well, I could, but he will just tell you to shoot it.”

“Let me try this differently. If I shoot this porcupine can you please send someone to remove the bullet so the eagles are okay?”

“No, you are responsible to do that.”

“Okay, so what is your job?”

“I answer the phone and tell people what to do.”

“Okay, goodbye.”

So I get on the radio.( I am aware that I am not suppose to be on their chat channel, but right now I don’t care.) “Hey Dan, can you come take care of a porcupine who fell out of the tree.”

“You are suppose to call the office.”

“I did call the office and I was not pleased with the service I got.”

“Dan, I told her to shoot the thing and take out the bullet.”

“She can’t. She’s too dang short to make it through the snow and then work on the carcass. Trenna I will be right over and stay off the radio.”

I swear I can’t win for losing.

In case you are not familiar with porcupines. I  added the video with a little information.


What do you think?

12 points

Written by Ghostwriter

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